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Oct. 27, 2004 A little while ago I wrote about perhaps going into stand-up comedy or writing a book or becoming a playwright. I will need something to do after this contract I am fulfilling expires. But now, I am thinking; Psychiatry! There are millions of people in the world suffering all types of mental stresses. I’m sure I would have to specialize. I was thinking of specializing in phobias; even more narrowly, liberal phobias. There is Conservativaphobia: The liberal dread of anything reasonable and filled with common sense. There is Bibliophobia: The extreme liberal fear of any biblical passage speaking of personal sin and repentance. There is Whole-Truthophobia: which is the extreme liberal fear of having to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help them God. I understand any liberal with a combination of Bibliophobia and Whole- Truthophobia is in grave danger of heart seizure should they have to testify in any court of law. Wow! It’s a good thing President Clinton has neither of those phobias. Can you imagine! Then there is Limbaughophobia: the extreme liberal dread of AM Radio stations. There’s Bushophobia: the liberal fear that any more bills of law enacted by the Bush Administration will succeed and continue to help the beleaguered American taxpayer. There’s Voterfraudophobia: the liberal fear of being found conducting voter fraud while actually conducting voter fraud. How about Campaignheadquartersophobia? This is the liberal fear of all buildings designated Republican Campaign Headquarters. This one is an insidious fear that actually plays out in shooting rampages and physical assault against Republicans. There’s Cheneyophobia: which can cause a liberal to become hyper tense and unduly stressed at the mention of words like “lesbian”, “Halliburton” or “EFF off Patrick Leahey”. Then there is Falwellophobia: the liberal fear that old Jerry may be right. Naderophobia can drive a liberal insane. This is the fear that Ralph Nader might actually get more votes than John Kerry. There is also Supremecourtophobia: the liberal fear that the liberal side of that court will die off or retire before Margaret Marshall and her three lemmings can get promoted. There is a whole host of liberal phobias requiring cures: SUVophobia is one John Kerry doesn’t have. He owns five SUV’s. Now he doesn’t drive any of them, preferring the Limo, but he does fearlessly own five. Then ANWRophobia, which is a leftist fear of America becoming oil independent and IRAQophobia, which is the liberal fear of victory over the terrorists. NoChildLeftBehindophobia is prevalent through the liberal teaching community. That is a fear of having to be personally accountable as a teacher for the progress of students. There are certainly other major phobias suffered by the leftists of America, yet there is one phobia that is suffered by nearly 80% of the Congress of America. Workophobia is the Congressional fear of having to work to actually earn the exorbitant paychecks and pensions they enjoy. Now I know what you’re thinking, and I’m sure you are right. Conservatives have many phobias too. But there is one simple cure for all Conservative phobias. That would be a healthy dose of TRUTH. There is a single simple cure for all liberal phobias too. It is called Conservatism. Gee! Everyone’s cured! Maybe I should write that book? ------------ About the Author: Michael John McCrae is an Independent, Conservative, Christian who has been personally insulted as a voter because John Kerry thinks the "Heart and Soul of America" lays in the "X-rated sexual innuendo" of Whoopi Goldberg. Well, Michael McCrae thinks America is better than that. Michael McCrae believes there is at least some morality left. So Michael McCrae is going to leave this here (until after the election) as a reminder to all of what John Kerry and John Edwards believe the Real America to be. They believe America's "heart and soul" resides in the "X-rated sexual innuendo" of Whoopi Goldberg. You can draw your own conclusions. Email: macswordV@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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