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Oct. 27, 2004 Where is Osama? I think he’s in North Dakota. Don’t ask me why I think he’s there, I just do. Would anyone think of looking in North Dakota for Osama Bin Laden? No, they would not. North Dakota doesn’t have very many people and it really is a desolate place. Maybe it’s not as desolate as Tora Bora, but desolate nevertheless. Tora Bora? What is that? It sounds like the old movie “Tora Tora.” The Japanese attacked us in that movie. I think they lost the war though. It’s probably good that they lost. If they had won, we’d all be driving Toyotas. Hmm, maybe that’s not such a bad deal. Toyota is a good car. I think it gets better gas mileage than our gas guzzling SUVs. My brother drives a Toyota and he doesn’t speak Japanese. He has a friend that speaks Japanese and drives a Pontiac, go figure. I voted early this year (not a good segue I know). Of course I voted for John Kerry. I did that because I’m a Democrat and I like John Kerry. He has a rich wife and two cute daughters, and they all are quite articulate when they speak. They all seem to be able to use the English language well. That’s important to me because…well, I live in an English speaking country (for now at least) and that’s my language of choice. I never cared for George Bush. His wife looks like a schoolteacher and his kids look like him. He looks like his brother Jeb and his father, George. Did you know George Foreman named all of his boys “George?” George Foreman is a guy I trust. If he ran for president I would buy one of his grills, but only if it was a Democrat (can grills be Democrats?). My wife came home last night with an autographed picture of Bob Barker (another lousy segue). She said she picked it up at an auction. I asked why. She couldn’t tell me. I now worry about my wife. She’s a psychiatric nurse and I am wondering if psychiatric stuff wears off on people that work with disturbed people? Does anyone know? That would be great useless knowledge. Here is one last piece of useless knowledge before I sign off. Did you know that my Doberman Pinscher is almost bald and she’s only 3 ½ years old. She’s a blue Dobe and has a skin problem. I love her anyway. Color’s not a problem for me. Is it a problem for anyone out there? The Counting Crows sang a song entitled, “Color Blind.” I’m colorblind in more ways than one. I have to have my wife pick out my socks in the morning because I can’t tell the difference between navy blue and black, go figure.
I know that this article will go down
into the annals of great useless-knowledge
articles. Does U-K give out like some kind of
award for the most useless knowledge ever
created? I hope so. I would appreciate your
vote.
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