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Oct. 11, 2004 I sat upstairs with my best friend this evening and listened to her talk about a certain someone that she is beginning to develop feelings for, like it or not. She talked about how he made her feel and hinted at her own feelings, but at no time did she actually come out and say what she may or may not be feeling. It was 2 hours of beating around the bush, so to say. Don't get me wrong, I loved hanging out with her, and I was really intrigued by the way the process of love goes for different people. See, my fiance', Josh, and I have a simply complicated relationship that can be broken down like this. We met at the end of September 2002, he broke up with his girlfriend October 1, 2002, we got together October 2, 2002, he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him on October 3, and we were engaged October 4. We dated for two months, broke up, he disappeared for 6 months, my best friend got a letter from him while he was in prison, I went up to show her the ropes so she could visit him (my father was in the same prison, I'd been there 3 times a week for almost 18 months at the time), he told me he loved me. He got out August 28, 2003, we got engaged that day, I got pregnant September 9, 2003 and we had a baby girl May 15,2004. It's complicated see, but so simple. Very quick, but simple. It's to the point. In a matter of three days we realized we loved each other, in a matter of four days we realized we needed to be together for the rest of our days. It seemed so simple. But when I watch other people do it, or try to do it, it seems like the hardest thing in the world. I feel so lucky I got to do it all quickly so I didn' have to go through the doubt and fear and denial that comes with your average person who falls in love. I like that. So, here I am watching my parents prepare to date other people for the first time in twenty- four years, watching my best friend try her damnedest to deny feelings that are growing inside her, and I sit back and breathe a sigh of relief. I know I don't have to do this anymore. I don't have to date or worry or be self-conscience. I have someone already. And it only took me two tries. In closing, thank you, Josh, for being the most complicated person in the world and for letting it be so easy to love you so much. I've never said it outloud for the whole world to see so here it is, just like when you screamed out relatively the same thing in the middle of a crowded Wal-Mart, "I LOVE THIS MAN!" I love you, Joshua, I do. And the times may be tough and rough, but that's just a moment in time that will one day be a memory. Just like when you proposed to me in the mall after 4 days. I want the whole world to feel what I feel for this man. I want the whole world to find someone they connect with and love and they don't know quite why they love them, they just do. That's what I wish. With all the little complexities in the world, I wish everyone could lay back, go with the flow and fall in love. I did it, I did it fast, I did it with mistakes, and I'd do it all over again. I wish that everyone who reads this article and everyone who doesn't, finds that person who they fall in love with for no other reason than "there's just something about you". ------------ About the author L.J. Chapman: I am a 24 year old mother of two. I am getting married June 4, 2005 to my fiance', Josh. I am in the middle of writing my first novel, "The Checked Blanket" which I hope to have finished by the end of the year. I have several poems on poetry.com. Email: bipolar_bear80@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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