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May 31, 2004 "My dear ones...I can feel myself slipping out. At the very moment I am writing this, I know I am not myself. Please don't think my love has gone because my thoughts are unclear. Please know my love will not go away even if I, myself, do leave for a short time." Grandma Joy knew she had Alzheimer's. She knew her memory was fading and her reality was becoming distant. Through Grandma Joy's experience, I was able to see what truly consitutes us as human and what truly constitutes us as divine. Years before writing her letter telling us all not to worry, Grandma Joy was born in 1912 as Charlotte Virginia Young. Her mother was a naive Scandinavian immigrant who had gotten pregnant at too young of an age to raise her daughter. At still an infant, Grandma was given informally to another Scandinavian family of Nebraska, who then raised my grandmother as Joy Lorraine Gustafson. With high cheekbones, stunning eyes, and a feminine figure, Joy Lorraine was always admired growing up. In her small Nebraska town, Grandma Joy learned to drive in a Ford Model T. In days of women marrying shortly after high school, she chose to attend college. I have many pictures of her college life. There are group shots similar to pictures today. I have pictures from college that are no different than Grandma Joy and her college buddies playing around in her dorm room. Apparently the 1930s were no different for young college women than they are today. Here, Grandma Joy and I have the same memories. There was a young man who attended high school during the day and worked on the railroad evenings and nights. It was the Great Depression and his family needed the income. Where was this young man's father? Well, he was the town drunk and spent his days in the bar or drunk in the crop fields. Many times this young man was taken out of school, work, or awoken in the night to retrieve his sloppy father from the bar. Despite an abusive father, passive mother, and tremendous workload, this young man went on to earn a dental degree with honors and enlist in the military during World War II. This young man fell in love with Joy Lorraine Gustafson and became my Grandpa Eldred Lavern Arch. Smitten by the beautiful Joy, Eldred asked her to marry and they united in 1941. At this time Grandma Joy was officially adopted by the Gustafsons and her name changed; she was no longer Charlotte Virginia Young. Shortly after marrying, Eldred Lavern Arch was sent to Europe to serve in the Second World War. Both feeling optimistic, Joy and Eldred wrote during his time in Europe. "Punk, You described it just as if I was there! Wow! It's hard to believe you are seeing such things and this war continues after so long. Little Trudy is walking and has grown very much. Mother has been gardening with me during the days." She supported her husband during his time away for war. Her letters are only of support and concern for Eldred. Never did Grandma Joy complain of tending to two small children and living with her adopted parents during the three years Grandpa Eldred was in Europe. When Grandma Eldred returned to America, the young family set out for Washington state. The Arch family had a generous G.I. Bill to begin a life in a small orchard-based Washington town. Grandpa was a smart, industrious man. He purchased property downtown and began a very successful dental office. "Doctor Arch" or "Doctor E.L." was very popular in the small Washington town. Upon moving to the town myself in college, I was frequently asked my the town's old timers if I was related to "ol' Doctor Arch." I was proud to say he was my grandfather. This comment was always followed by, "You look like your grandmother." Apparently Grandma Joy was very popular in town. Being a housewife was never part of Grandma Joy's plan, nor did it ever become her life. Grandma attended classes at the local community college and furthered her education. She loved poetry classes and discussing books of social significance. Grandma Joy was very active in the theatre group and was known through out as a, "Says what's on her mind" sort of woman. She stood out. This was the 1950s and the media was pushing for a return to the values before the war took woman away from the home. Shows like "Ozzy and Harriet" filled the airways while Grandma Joy attended school and performed in plays. Life wasn't perfect for the Arches. By 1953 the family had five children and an difficult marriage. By the 1960s, the Arch family was split. Grandpa Arch eventually remarried but Grandma Joy quickly remarried following the divorce. She made a mistake and married an extremely wealthy businessman and moved to Seattle. This was a very short-lived marriage and was followed by a longer marriage to a man Grandma Joy truly loved. This man was Donald Kirby, the president of a successful bank. This man became Grandpa Don. Unfortunately, Grandpa Eldred died two years before I was born, but I've always felt he was my guardian angel. In third grade, my family moved two thousand miles away from the life we knew. While living far away, Grandma Joy and I exchanged letters. "I had a dream last night that we were birds and could fly at night to see one another." Impressed with my feeble, dyslexic third grade writing, Grandma Joy encouraged me to keep writting. No longer did I feel like the girl in special reading classes--I was my grandma's favorite writer! Soon, I was in ninth grade and had a shelf full of the world's greatest books. That same ninth grade Christmas I received a new book and challenge from Grandma Joy. "My dear Kady, Here is an empty book waiting for your poetry to fill the pages." Seven years later and a Junior in college, I filled my poetry book and met Grandma Joy's challenge. We continued to write letters while I was out of state attending college. Yes, Grandma Joy's example as well as Grandpa Eldred's, showed me that I could overcome and be who ever I dreamed; I could go where ever I wanted to. It didn't matter that my parent's were poor or that I couldn't read until second grade. Life was what I made it out to be. In my years of college Grandma Joy's mind was slipping. Her Alzheimer's was catching up and absorbing her life and memories. Soon Grandma Joy ventured from, "Says what's on her mind" sort of woman to someone I didn't know. She no longer knew who I was. I spent time at her birthday party far from her and entertaining my little cousin. It was like Grandma Joy was already gone and her body simply remained behind waiting to return to Mother Earth. I was finishing my first completed story in the form of a movie script the summer of 2002 when Grandma Joy passed away. I was asked to speak at her funeral but felt as if she wasn't there. Joy Lorraine Gustafson wouldn't waste her time watching everyone cry when there were people to meet. I envisioned Grandma Joy embracing her parents and then seeking out Emerson and Cicero. I was sifting through letters Grandma Joy had kept and discovered a script cutely titled, "No Jazz For Me." Created from an old typewriter during the early 1960s, Grandma Joy had also completed a movie script. It was such a surreal moment. At that point I knew exactly what my own movie script was missing...memory. After adding the theme of memory to my story, I finished my script and dedicated it to Grandma Joy. PACIFIC MOON A screenplay by Katherine Arch ©2004 What happens when you know your memory will die long before you do? Professor Michael Gold is loosing his memory and his job. Now he will recall, for the last time, one life-changing week in the 1950s upon a remote island. Join a cabin of comical characters on their way to Hawaii as Michael shares his tale and reveals why he hasn’t returned in over fifty years. Dedicated to my Grandma Joy: who helped me dream leading to a life in the South Pacific, who encouraged me to write despite what other said, whose Alzheimer’s took her memory long before she left me, and whose memories continue to live on in the lives of her posterity. What makes us different from other mammals is our ability to remember. Not only do we carry with us our own memories, but we carry on the memory of those from our lives. Grandma Joy's amazing life and experiences didn't pass away with her body nor did her mind pass away with her Alzheimer's. Joy Lorraine Gustafson lives with me and she will live with my children. We as humans are capable of bettering ourselves and society because we are able to carry others with us. I love my high cheeck bones, stunning eyes, feminine figure, and "Says what's on her mind" attitude. This was inherited from a great woman. She taught me to learn and appreciate art in the form of literature. But the greates works come from myself. We were going through her painting receipts after Grandma Joy passed away when we discovered her farwell letter. "Goodbye my dear ones." Do not worry Grandma. You continue to live. ------------ About the author: Kate Arch, wrote "Pacific Moon." Drama set in South Pacific. Email if interested: ctrkd@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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