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May 30, 2004 Our Daughter was born a year ago and I laugh now as I remember how terrified I was to bring her home from the hospital. Back then my biggest fear was being able to feed her. For whatever reason, perhaps she sensed my apprehension, she didn't take to the bottle or breast unless a nurse was there to assist me in this task. In 48 hours the hospital would be sending us home and I thought to myself "How am I ever going to be able to feed this Baby?" By the time we left the hospital both Charlyne and I were ready to begin our lives as Mother and Daughter. My first fear proved to be unnecessary because she was eating well burping and all. At her first check up 2 weeks later the pediatrician confirmed that she was eating just fine. During a Babies first year of life the pediatricians give you so many articles to mark the "major milestones." Like most babies our daughter didn't exactly fit the mold. I remember reading the articles and using them as a way to judge how well I was doing as a new Mother. How happy I would be when she would lift her head up, start to sit up or coo as the articles said she should be doing. Since my Mother had passed away a few years before she was born I yearned for some Motherly advise. Fortunately I remembered two things she had said almost 20 years before when my Niece was born. One "Babies don't read the manuals" and two "If I had it to do over again I would be more relaxed this time." I decided to take her advise and try to relax and enjoy this thing called Motherhood. The relaxing part would be a bit of a challenge some days. As my Daughter hit her "milestones" I would be filled with joy. It was as if they were tests of how well I was doing as her Mother. Until one of her check ups I was feeling fairly successful. I still remember the pediatrician asking me "Is she clapping her hands?" At first my heart raced with anxiety then I remembered my Mother's words "Babies don't read the manuals." Sheepishly I told her Doctor no not yet but proceeded to brag about all the things she had accomplished. Her Doctor politely interrupted me and reassured me she would be clapping her hands. About 3 days after her appointment she started clapping her hands. I had to control myself not to phone the pediatrician and let her know, in a pride filled voice, Charlyne was clapping her hands. It is amazing how we let anxiety and fear strike even when things are going so well. Fortunately for us our daughter has only been to the pediatrician for all her checkups and vaccines. She was never sick, didn't keep us up nights teething, have diaper rash, and she even started sleeping throughout the night before 6 months. There was one night she had a runny nose. My first impulse was to call the Paramedics. My mind raced with scary images of her in the ER. Could this be croup? The Flu? Would see need an IV for antibiotics? Fortunately after this initial wave of anxiety passed I calmly took her temperature only to discover it was normal. Since I myself had a few sniffles I quickly realized it was best to just keep an eye on her, aspirate her and only call her Pediatrician if the condition worsened. It is amazing how taking a few deep breaths can help clear up a new nervous Mother's head. Admittedly however; I didn't sleep that entire night listening for sniffles. As her first year approached I was feeling so Blessed. I knew the lack of colds, diaper rash, teething troubles, and her ability to sleep through the night didn't have a lot to do with my parenting skills. Oh it was a bit, I love to tell myself, but I also got quite lucky because each baby is different. So as we approached our first year check up and vaccinations I felt more confident as a new Mother. After all she was walking and trying to talk. She was happy, healthy and in my eyes the most beautiful baby in the entire universe. Then it came that flash of anxiety. The Doctor asked does she wave 'Bye Bye." Once again I boasted about all her accomplishments but a bit embarrassed answered no she doesn't wave "Bye Bye." I learned a lot this year. It has been the best year of my life. Babies don't read the manual but hopefully this Mom will pass along the good advice her Mom gave. And for the record Charlyne is now waving "Bye Bye." Thanks Mom. ------------ About the author: Mary Ellen Popkin Author of Anxiety Disorder Workbook. It recounts her personal journey and recovery over anxiety disorder. To see sample chapters or purchase the book go to the publishers site at http://www.awe-struck.net/NONFICTION2/anxiety.html For more information about anxiety disorder and recovery go to http://www.anxiety.netfirms.com/ Email: Maryellenph@cs.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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