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May 21, 2004 “You’re not going to believe what I heard today!” my mother said with so much enthusiasm in her voice I was sure that some distant relative must have either died or was expecting a baby. “Becky’s husband upgraded her 1 K engagement ring to 2 carats! Isn’t that romantic?” Ah, another “Becky Story.” Becky had been my best friend from 2nd grade until 9th grade. Just as our freshman year was coming to a close Becky was finally accepted into the popular group of girls. I wasn’t “cool” enough to be accepted into that little clique so basically Becky decided that I wasn’t good enough to be her friend anymore. For some crazy reason, my mother has kept in touch with Becky ever since our “break-up” 17 years earlier. She has never actually said it, but I can tell that Becky has the life that my mother dreamed that I would have. According to my mother, Becky has it all; a rich husband, a big house, people to clean her big house and in-laws that adore her. Becky also had the stereotypical proposal, complete with the beau on bended knee in an expensive restaurant and the perfect diamond ring. And now, just 5 years after their traditional Southern wedding and Hawaiian honeymoon, Becky’s ring was being upgraded. “Well, I have to finish dinner now.” My mother said as she brought our phone conversation to a close. “By the way, has Nick given you an engagement ring yet?” I loved how casually my mother asked that question. She made it sound as if Nick and I were still in the courting stage of our relationship. In reality we had 7 years of marriage under our belts, a house, a mini-van and a 3 year old son and another child on the way.. “Not yet Mom, but I’m sure he’s going to pop the question any day now.” I said, feeling a bit guilty for mocking her. How could I possibly explain to my traditional Southern mother that I didn’t even want an engagement ring and that I was perfectly happy with the Las Vegas guidebook that was given to me during my marriage proposal? Now don’t think that my husband is some unromantic buffoon that was looking for a cheap and easy way to tie the knot. Going to Las Vegas had been my idea. Nick didn’t grow up in the United States. Instead he was raised in Finland by a single mother. In that area of the world their proposals and weddings are much simpler and not nearly as romanticize as they are in the States. Naturally Nick wasn’t familiar with our American courting rituals by the time he moved to the states for college. When we first began dating Nick had just finished college and had started his first “grown-up” job as an actuary. I was going to college at nights and working as a nanny during the day. Neither of us had much money so we used to spend our weekends walking around a lake that was behind the house where I was renting a room. During these walks we slowly fell in love with each other. A year into our relationship I began wondering if Nick had any plans on proposing to me. Around Christmas I finally asked him if he could see us getting married one day. “I guess so, but not anytime soon.” He replied. I tried not to act too disappointed and respect his honest answer. After all, we had only been dating for a year and we were still in our early 20s. Then he surprised me just 4 months later on a beautiful April day. It had been a long snowy winter and this was the first warm sunny spring day that we had that month. As usual Nick and I were walking around the lake holding hands. As we walked we talked about the different places where we would like to travel. Nick had traveled all over Europe as a child. In contrast, my family rarely traveled and I was constantly dreaming of big trips. Without really thinking about what I was saying, I said, “I‘ve always dreamed of flying out to Las Vegas and getting married.” I was serious too. I had never been one of those girls that dreamed of being “Bride of the Year” and getting married in a church full of people. Heck, I wasn’t even that interested in jewelry and had no idea what was so great about a Tiffany diamond. As soon as I had made the Vegas wedding comment I became concerned that Nick would think that I was pressuring him into “the talk” Lucky for me, instead of changing the topic to why we shouldn’t get married anytime soon, Nick began describing the time him and his family had driven across country. After our walk Nick suggested that we go to the bookstore. This was another one of our favorite activities. Once at the bookstore we went our separate ways. (We had totally different taste in books) About 20 minutes later I ran into Nick. I asked him if he was ready to go and if he would like to go get some pizza for dinner. “Sure,” he said, “I just have to pay for this.” That is when he shyly showed me the book he was purchasing. Just imagine my shock when he showed me a guidebook for Las Vegas. To my surprise Nick took the book into the restaurant with us and immediately opened it to the section titled “Getting Married in Las Vegas.” It was at that point I realized that he was proposing to me in his own unique way. “This is it!” I thought to myself. “It’s really happening! My boyfriend is asking me to marry him.” We giggled a lot during that dinner as we took turns looking at the book. It was just your basic $16.95 guidebook filled with glossy pictures of the city and lists of the most popular hotels and attractions. Three months later we flew out to Las Vegas. As the plane landed I could barely keep my excitement contained. Just as the plane came to a full stop, Nick squeezed my hand and said, “So what does it feel like to have your dream come true?” I was too excited to answer him so I just gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. We were married the following day, unbeknownst to our family and friends. Since then Nick and I have traveled as often as we could, always buying a guidebook months before the trip. I have no interest in “upgrading” my Las Vegas guidebook even though it is outdated. To me, the book is more precious than a diamond ring given to me during some cookie cutter proposal. I keep the book in my nightstand and thumb through it often. It’s a constant reminder of that perfect April day when my shy and quiet beau who was unfamiliar with American customs still managed to propose to me truly from his heart while taking my own personal dreams and interests into consideration. ------------ About the author: Tabitha Reed grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. On a whim she moved to Maryland in her early 20s. Just a few months after moving to Maryland she met her future husband. She currently lives just outside of Baltimore with her husband and two young children. Email: BlueberryRose71@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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