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May 11, 2004 We have CEOs, COOs, CFOs and CIOs, titles from the corporate world that are seeping into the ivory towers of academia. Isn't it time for a CHO- -a Chief Humor Officer? There are precedents for this. Kings had jesters. Abbott had Costello. Laurel had Hardy. Bush had Quayle. Clinton had Monica. Bush has Cheney? See what I mean? W needs a CHO. He just looks too darn glum these days. Sure he's overworked, stressed out and "disgusted" with those photos. But, with a CHO, he could have a few chuckles and lose that grim awful look he's wearing these days. He could start each Cabinet meeting with a CHO stand-up comedy routine, just the ticket for making that frown disappear. A warm up comic could come in before his State of the Union address, or better yet, before his “spur of the moment” press conferences. Cream pies could be thrown at visiting dignitaries' State dinners, because life’s short--you should eat dessert first! Arabs and Israelis could come to humor summits and learn how to make each other fall on banana peels. And, just for fun, on really, really tough days, the CHO could bring in a mime and have another mime shoot him. There’s a real crowd pleaser! And, speaking of shooting, don't you think that all those disgruntled postal workers would have thought twice about, well, going postal, if they'd just had a CHO in the house? Who can shoot an assault weapon when they’re laughing? Those gosh-darn bullets just wouldn’t hit anyone if the mailman were having a good, hard belly laugh. I mean, just look at them on those new fangled Segways—isn’t that a good chuckle? I can hardly aim my gun when they go by on those little scooter things because I’m shaking too hard with the giggles. The ranks of corporate America could sure use some cheering up, too. What's a crooked, manacled CEO to do but laugh at his or her own plight? All the Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling needed as he was being led away in handcuffs was a good laugh, you know, a different perspective on his situation. After all, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? He had a few good laughs at the investors’ expense--and a few good parties, too. It’s about time he laughed at himself in that nice, new orange jumpsuit. Now that’s got to be worth at least a titter. And, Martha, gosh, imagine how different her trial might have been if she'd only gone in each day with a smile on her face after her well-paid CHO tickled her funny bone! It would have been better than wearing that mink thing, don't you think? But, then, she was busy with her date book and plans for decorating her new digs. She’ll be sure to have a few laughs with “the girls” once she’s on the inside. Of course, not just anyone should become a CHO. Education and training would be key. Academia could develop undergraduate and graduate programs in humor. Mimes, comics and comedians could get credit for life experience! There could be weekend CHO programs for those really in a rush, full-time fun-seeking folks. Think of all the sit- coms and movies that could be used in that curriculum. Not to mention all the pies that would be made for classic, slap-stick humor. A CHO program would strengthen the sagging cream pie, whoopee cushion, stink bomb and water balloon economy. And, of course, there would be a certificate—-Certified Humor Specialist (CHE). Won’t that look good on the resume? In the meantime, while we’re waiting for our colleges and universities to catch up to this pressing need, try some humor workshops where you can wear red noses, play with balloons, make funny body sounds and make fun of yourself. Because, deep inside, each of us is our own CHO. ------------ About the author: When not attempting to make undergraduate and graduate students laugh, Sharon is attempting to find an agent for her mystery, "An Unrecovered Woman". Email: sbuchbind@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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