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June 22, 2004 An annual ritual in most newspapers and magazines in India, the country that I come from, as well as increasingly on television these days, is a focus on the supposed “dumbing down” of society, especially the young. While the more sensationalist articles and programs focus on information-challenged young people who cannot answer questions like who the country’s Chief Justice is or on the victor of one or another of the many wars fought in the long past, the more highbrow ones focus on how the most read portion of newspapers is the sports section followed by the astrology column. Moving to the USA has shown that the media here suffers from similar worries as well - these days, the focus is on how many engineering graduates the USA turns out compared to other countries in the world. The unsaid implication is that both countries are doomed because of a regular and consistently increasing stupidity among the masses and the greatest media worry seems to be that no one is doing anything to arrest this. Journalists have a prescription for all of the world’s ills, and, the more highbrow the journal, the more the prescriptions on everything that matters to the world. Whether it is The Economist, The New York Times or India’s fashionable Outlook, there is never any shortage of free advice to politicians on what they should be doing though the television channels, mercifully, seem less inclined towards turning themselves into quasi consultancy services. This is advice that is often taken in toto by readers who would not as much as question whether a journalist/commentator who has not as much as run a grocery store successfully should advise a country’s leadership on how to run the economy, or, for that matter, whether experts who offer unsolicited advice to successfully elected political office holders ever won as much as a classroom election in the fourth or fifth grade. Journalists also have a fascination with the world of make believe - whether it is out of regret that they cannot influence as many people as a film-maker does or whether it is envy at the sheer amount of money that film makers make while trying influencing public opinion in their own way despite being intellectually challenged compared to journalists is something that deserves to be researched by some media or academic notable. India’s star journalists are never more at ease than when they share the podium at a talk show along with some actor or film-maker, and, while star journalists in the USA don’t really have the kind of sex appeal here that some of their brethren have in India, I am inclined to believe that they probably regret this more than anything else. Don’t believe me? Just look at the attention a pamphleteer on celluloid like Michael Moore makes. For all I know, there are people who believe that it is Moore and not Kerry who is running as the main opposition candidate in the forthcoming elections. Over the past two days, the main news coming out of India seems to focus not on the peace talks between India and Pakistan, (considered the most dangerous region on earth by some military experts because of the two countries’ nuclear weapons aimed at each other) but on an “incident” where a failed actress from India who is trying hard, these days to tout herself as a director, advising an aspiring South African actress not to try to act in North Indian films because she was not fair enough. Such an influence on the world needs to be recognized considerably more than it actually is, and, my proposal, tongue wholly in cheek, is for a Nobel Prize for Films and Music. Journalists who are approved by a Nobel subcommittee consisting of notaries from the world of entertainment would also qualify. After all, 90% of all humanity is familiar with Oliver Stone or Michael Moore’s version of history. 99% of humanity would be unfamiliar with Lord Acton’s name. Well, I even had a teacher in school who referred to him as Lord Action. The criterion on which the award would be based would be how many headlines the actor or musician got in a year, or, the number of web searches that were made in their name. Think I’m being facetious? Just check how many searches were made for Britney Spears compared to, for example, John Kerry. Or for Beyonce compared to Dick Cheney. I’m not even going into George W Bush versus Michael Moore… Since it is probable that a majority of the winners of these awards would not be able to name Carl XI Gustaf (you didn’t think any journalist would win on headlines or web eyeballs did you?) I would suggest shifting the ceremonies to Disneyland, Hollywood and Las Vegas alternately. And who on earth wants to listen to a citation by a committee? The awards would be prefaced by an uncensored performance by Janet Jackson and would end with the winner jumping into a swimming pool along with 72 Playboy bunnies or male studs of their choice. As a special concession to journalists, they would be allotted all the front rows on producing a Press ID card even if they have criticized a film or music album in the past. Journalists who are severely critical of the influence that film and music industry have on the public would be made to clean up after the event is over. What would these awards achieve? They would be a recognition of the contribution that the world of entertainment has made to our daily lives. They would sell even more newspapers and eyeball time on television and since everyone hates those damn politicians while everyone wants to go to Hollywood and Disneyland, for once the world would focus here and on Las Vegas. The tourism industry would benefit immensely as millions would flock to these notable places and the Nobel committee could sell tickets and easily recoup some of the money it pays those boring scientists and economists every year. In the long term, the money earned would go to a charitable cause that is as dear to my heart as this one is - it would go to promoting a Campaign For the Eradication of Stupidity. Actually, that campaign is more dear to my heart and to yours if you’ve read this far, I’m sure, than the additional Nobel categories are. But do you think we’d ever get there unless we had something like this to bring the money in first? ------------ About the author Mehul Kamdar: I am a former editor working on his first work of fiction with the caring support of his old dog and young wife in the beautiful little town of Appleton, Wisconsin. I hope to complete my book within the next three months and then look for a publisher. Twenty years after I started my career, it feels nice to start all over again! Email: mehul@mehulkamdar.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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