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June 9, 2004 Five years ago, my elderly parents were in a jam. My mother never learned to drive and had many health problems throughout her lifetime. She rarely left the house, which probably contributed to the way she abused me in childhood. But I am straying from the subject at hand. One Sunday evening about 10:30 PM the phone began to ring, which was quite unusual. It was my mother, she said my father was in the bathroom, when she heard a loud thump. He'd fallen backwards into the bathtub and couldn't get up. My husband and I didn't take it too seriously, so Chuck (my husband) said he'd drive over there without me, because our elderly dog wasn't doing well, either. I love my dogs dearly, and his situation was serious. When Chuck got there, he knew it was a stroke because my father was paralyzed on one side. My father had never been ill in my lifetime, besides a cold once in a while. Chuck and I agreed he'd take my father to the emergency room. We had no idea what was to come, and it would get progessively worse with time. Chuck spent all night with my father at the hospital. I called in sick the next day on my job. I've never been close with my brother or his wife, but I did inform them of the situation. My brother's wife was actually excited that my father had a stroke, because she was hoping he'd be dead soon. The next evening, late, my brother's wife called and said she was driving up from Kentucky to pick up my father's car. I said, "What car?" She said that since my father would probably be dead soon, she'd wrecked her car and she needed a car. (This is one small example of the type of person we're dealing with here.) Two days later we were informed my father had prostate cancer, colon cancer, pneumonia, and, accidentally, the doctor informed us he also had cancer of the esophagus. My brother's wife was ecstatically happy. She'd been hoping for years to find a way to get rid of my father and take my parents' home, their possessions and their savings. I knew she'd been planning this for years. I told me parents of my feelings, and they ignored me, as usual. I told my brother that if his wife comes for the car, I would have her arrested. The downward spiral began, meaning, their plans were in place, it was only a matter of time. My father spent the next several months in a hospital situation. First, he spent about three weeks' in intensive care. He withered down to skin and bones. I was very upset, even though our relationship had always been poor. He didn't have cancer of the esophagus, but he did have a stroke, colon cancer and prostate cancer. For the prostate cancer he received radiation. For the colon cancer he had the tumor removed, and then a tube was placed to insert food into his stomach because he couldn't eat normally for quite a while. Because of the stroke, his swallowing muscles didn't work, and he slowly had to be weaned off of that. For a while, they told us he might not be able to eat ever again in a normal fashion, that the tube would remain for the rest of his life. I was horrified when I heard that because my father's reason to live was FOOD! He survived that and then could eat normally. With rehab, he learned to walk, slowly. He couldn't drive anymore, which meant he couldn't take care of my sickly mother any longer, as he'd done throughout his entire marriage. So, since my husband and myself lived closeby, we took care of them. We did their shopping, took them to doctors, arranged for in-home health care, etc. It was extemely stressful, because we both have full time jobs. But, I felt obligated. Suddenly, my brother needed money, desperately. Both my parents at this point were in wheelchairs, mostly. They could walk on their own, but very slowly. My brother coerced my parents into co-signing a loan on their home, which had been paid for 25 years ago. It was free- and-clear, no mortgage at all. My brother and his wife always lived beyond their means. They often asked for money, but I don't know what they received over the years. (I never got a penny) He took out an $85,000 open-ended mortgage on their home, and, of course, he lost his job again, as usual. Someone changed the locks on my parents house so I couldn't get in to help them anymore. I saw a "For sale" sign on the lawn. It sold quickly and my parents were gone! They didn't call to say they'd be moving, or even what caused them to do this. Obviously, their son couldn't pay off the new mortgage since he'd lost his job again. I was totaly devastated. I had trouble sleeping. I hired a private investigator to search for my brother and parents. I knew they'd gone back to Kentucky, or at least I suspected that. He'd been there right before moving back to our hometown. He'd had jobs all over the U.S., moving from place-to-place, because he couldn't keep a job for very long. His arrogant personality and sarcastic, biting verbage would often rub people the wrong way, including myself, of course. They were there, all right. Seven people in the same house. Two adults, three teenagers, two elderly people, all in the same house. They took my parents house, their savings and all of their possessions. My husband went down there to try and talk to them, but they wouldn't open the door. I haven't heard from them in five years. I don't know if my parents have been dumped in a nursing home, or even if they're still alive. The whole thing has been extremely mentally painful, but...some good has come of it, which I'll get to later on. It doesn't hurt anymore, I just wonder...don't they remember they have an adult daughter? Don't they care at all? Obviously, they don't. ------------ About the author Gail Fonda: In addition to her ebook, plans to write her memoirs for all the world to see, and maybe get on Jerry Springer! I think he'd get a real kick out of this, plus, it's absolutely true! Email: gdvoref@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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