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July 13, 2004 As you who read here know; I am running for office. As a candidate for whatever office, you the good and true people write me in for (put my name down on every write in line for every office on your ballot) I pledge again to find new and ever increasing ways to fill my pockets. Call it the Reagan Effect, if I fill my pockets with money from every source that can afford to pay, I promise I will go out and spend like a drunken sailor. You know as well as I do that the trickle down theory of economics has to start at the top and by me filling my pockets to beyond Gateslike proportions I will be able to allow a lot of my new wealth to “trickle down.” I have noticed lately, my fellow citizens, that the country of Monaco has made threats against this great nation of our. They are determined to out earn us in gambling revenues and that, my friends, is a direct threat to our security and order. When you elect me supreme commander as well as mayor of every town and governor of every region I will direct our armed forces to squash the brutal regime of that rogue state. There by securing the freedom from tyranny of that king for the probably maybe grateful people of that nation. By over running Monaco and that dictator I will also secure our own casinos and lottery pools stopping the egregious flow of our capitol to that place. Friends; Monaco is a threat to you and to our nation and only by sweeping me into every office in the land will we be able to secure our borders from that imminent threat. Do your duty and vote for me, tell all of your friends about this groundswell of movement to the politics of the un- funded grass roots liberal conservative left right and center party. Because I am accepting no campaign contributions from anyone it means I will be beholden to no one except them that line my pockets. The money that will be sent from them who send it will, depending on the size of the…uhhh bequest, is only a guarantee an audience. I will lead you like a Pasha of old and determine the length of time granted only on the amount of a subsequent chest of money. It is by using this standard that I will be able to protect you from your enemies, both foreign and domestic. After all we don’t want to waste our time with beggars and mendicants now do we? Time will be short seeing as how I only intend to offer myself to the nation for this one election cycle. Not that I wouldn’t accept subsequent reigns if done through acclamation, but I believe that you will give me enough wealth in the following term that I will never need to work again. Besides have you noticed that everyone who starts with a healthy head of hair ends their term either bald or gray? We don’t want that for me now do we? I also have noticed lately that we have to many dang trees in this country, that there is not enough sidewalks and concrete where I can park my RV and walk unmolested by bugs and other annoying forms of wild life. Oh NO the deer must go! Preferably on a plate but away from me and my amphibious motor home. Therefore I am going to sell timber rights to any logger who wants it while protecting the forests by allowing roads to be built for the efficient removal of the trees. We can store the excess lumber in the conquered nation of Monaco which we will have occupied by the time the first chain saw starts. And don’t worry about any of them there tree huggers either, I plan to draft them into the army and send them as the front line cannon fodder. That my fellow friends will take care of that simpering crowd. An RV in every driveway and a concrete pad (with full hook up) for every RV in ever forest. That is my promise to you and a few of the planks in my platform which will keep me from stepping into the mud. Thank you and remember to write me in on every line to see this great plan go forth to save our nation from them that would allow Monaco to over run us. Thank you and good day is a new day and a new day is when you vote for me! ------------ About the author Mark C. Durfee: 49...stopped doing what I was doing before to become an unpublished, unemployed writer. Any interested agent or publisher can contact me at the addy listed. I have four manuscripts complete and two more underway. I am willing to listen to proposals. Email: mcd5255@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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