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July 8, 2004 July 4th has two special meanings for me. The traditional thoughts and appreciation of our independence is uppermost on my mind. However, there is a secondary milestone I assign to the day after the fourth: The beginning of the college and pro football season. I know, I know, the games do not start for months, but the football books come out, the radio and newspapers begin to discuss the sport, and my friends and I begin our preparation for the upcoming season. Football is sort of like broccoli—you either love it or hate it! At the risk of being deemed sexist, the love/hate generally breaks down along the gender lines. There in lies the problem. To assist other male football junkies like myself, I have come up with some helpful rules to relieve any pressure during the season from your significant other. In no particular order here they are. 1. On non-game days (usually Tuesday, Wednesday, and occasionally Friday) use your time to mend the fences you trampled over the weekend. It’s a great time to take your SO to dinner, a movie, or on a surprise shopping trip to the local mall. A two hour visit to a trendy mall can yield huge dividends on Saturday when college football begins at 9:00 a.m. (PST) and last until midnight if Hawaii has a home game. 2. At least one Monday night (two if possible) take your SO to dinner and miss the Monday Night Football game. I know that’s asking a lot, but it sends a shining message that you can give up watching a game to be with your SO. What I do is check the schedule when it comes out for a “dog game” such as the Bengals at the Lions, and target that night for dinner. If you play your cards right, and scout restaurants in advance you can find a place where you can have dinner and see the bar TV from your seat. 3. Never try to involve your SO in the football watching experience. It will NOT work. They don’t want to watch football. They just want to gather intelligence for their counter-attack later in the season. 3-A. Never try to explain Fantasy Football to your SO. It will only make you appear immature and juvenile. 4. Watch the games at a friend’s house or at a Sports Bar. This way you will not have to contain your outbursts or explain your profanity laced tirade after a critical fumble on the 1 yard line. 5. Never try to rationally explain your love for the game. It’s a waste of time and will only lead to an argument. In varying forms, here is the appropriate response—“It’s hard to explain. It’s like your love for… (insert your SO’s favorite pastime) Sailing-Horseback riding-Shopping- Knitting-Gardening-Nagging (just kidding, I think!) 6. The pre-season is a great time to build up “chips” with your SO. Most SO’s have no clue of the difference between pre-season games and real games. Use these pre-season contest as “blow-out games by declaring, “Hey honey, I don’t feel like watching the game today, let’s go the Daffodil Festival today. In her mind, you choose her over a football game. I hope this helps in some small way in your preparation for the season. Got to run now, I’m taking my wife to the Home Expo. It will be my first “chip” in what looks to be a great football season! ------------ About the author: Pete Whalon recently published his first book— “The Saigon Zoo: Vietnam’s Other War; Sex, Drugs, Rock ‘n Roll.” It’s a humorous memoir of his 22 months as an Army Private in Vietnam, 1969-71. Check out his web site: www.SaigonZoo.com The 1st chapter is on the site for your reading pleasure! Email: kinoman7@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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