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Aug 21, 2004 It's so hard to have babies and then to have them growUP. It's the hardest thing I ever had to do -- to let them go -- to trust their judgment and then to just stay back after so many years of a parent's insight and assistance. I was very depressed when my son left for college at 20. I felt old and unneeded and done with. When my daughter went elsewhere to live my son was still a kid and took a lot of time and effort. I missed them both so much; we both did, but we couldn't talk about it for some reason right away. I missed them in a way I wouldn't have believed if someone had told me. They had been pushing my buttons all during the teens and sometimes they really, really annoyed me. I missed them though. I would often writer them letters (but not send) (sometimes saved) and I would try to begin at the very beginning with each one's birth and try to remember everything -- each new event, a new stage or a new step. At first there was so much to remember I spent every night lying in bed remembering the first day of school, the Scouts, the first potty experience, the first dance lesson, the time one kid dislodged a hornet nest; the broken arms and legs. I played it over and over for months and maybe years. I wanted them back; back as my babies and back as my children and back as my teens. I wanted them both back. I wanted to do it all over again. But here we are at another fall and we must let go from where ever we are as mothers and fathers: to nursery school, first grade, middle school, high school or college. It's painful. But it is also gainful. Because these children whom we hold so close and so dear become friends and become companions. The stress of trying to be "Daddy" or "Mommie" or "Kid" lessens and we become more than friends and more than family. The children we raise become our "better selves" younger, stronger, more capable and the joy in that lightens our pain. I promise you will get through it and be stronger for it. You will have more love with your grownUP children than you think you will right now in your loss and sadness. More love with your children. Because you've done a good job here. Enuff. I'm going to go pet the cat. ------------ About the author RD Larson: I live on the left side of the US. I was Left handed. I don't see how right and left aren't the opposite like right and liberal are. At least they are on opposite sides of my body. But I hope that my mind is centered so I can make informed votes count. RD is the author of Evil Angel, Saving Reverend Clayton. Visit www.RDLarson.com plus there are stories at www.BeWrite.net and www.Ebooksonthe.net. Email RD Larson: RDLarson419@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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