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Aug 15, 2004 Some new kid once asked me which clique I was in. I looked at him for a moment trying to figure out what on earth he wanted to know for. Would he stop talking to me if I wasn't in the "in" crowd? Would he look down his nose at me if I were a part of any other group? Suddenly, something in me snapped. Why did I care what he thought? Who does he think he is asking me who I am on my own turf? "I'm a punk," I smirked, "Don't mess with me if you know what's good for you." He laughed. "Good," he told me; "I like girls who play by their own rules." Yesterday one of my friends asked me what clique I was in. Yet again, I stopped for a second to think. Just months ago, I would have proudly said I was a punk, a delinquent. Now I'm not so sure. I've done all sorts of things, tried all sorts of things and now that it's all been done, I don't see the point in continuing. Especially in my school where most kids only stick around for a couple of years, the sole aim in life is to be "cool." Let me explain the hierarchy in my school. The two most general groups are the cool and the un-cool. The "cool" group consists of the anorexic-looking cleavage-bearing hair-tossing Barbies, the muscle-bound jocks, and the chronic party-ers. This group's constituents are rather straightforward. If you're "hot" and naïve or stupid, you are almost automatically in. There are a few intelligent ones in there, but not many. These are the people who think they rule the school. I suppose they do in a way; student council is mostly made up by them, so are the cheerleaders. Little do they know that they are pawns of the more intellectually adept: the "un- cool" group. The "un-cool" ones are the so-called outcasts, the ones who indirectly control the school. This group consists of the serious punks, the clean punks, the smart folks and the nerds/losers. The serious punks are the ones who run around vandalizing stuff and taking swigs out of little brown bags (when nobody's looking). The stereotypical juvenile delinquents are all lumped together as serious punks. The clean punks are pretty much punks with a less destructive ideology. The clean punks do not have police records and are rarely seen without some source of music (mostly rock). Both sets of punks are considered "incredibly bright" and neither "are working to their full potential." Smart folks are smart folks. The bright ones who DO work to their full potential. The real outcasts, however, are the nerds/losers. Nerds/losers are the ones who believe they are the incarnation of Yoda and don't get good grades, don't have friends, and don't have a life. They don't even hang out with each other! Well, the map of my school has been lain before us. I still see nowhere where I belong. In the last year, I have traveled from serious punk to clean punk to smart folk and back to clean punk; but do I want to stay there? I have friends in high places and low and could choose to hang out with them if I wanted to. I don't, though. I thought for a while about being a drifter, someone who kind of belongs everywhere, yet nowhere. Then, true to what I know of myself, I decided what I was once and for all. I don't have to belong. I am an ex-sinner, a deviation from the norm, and an intelligent, ordinary, hormone driven teen…and I'm proud of it. (One week later) I'm a punk. Don't mess with me if you know what's good for you. ------------ About the author: Ambreen is a somewhat cynical high school student who thinks teenagers are pretty much crazy (herself included). Any questions? Email Ambreen at: stardust_inc786@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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