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Apr 18, 2004 In yet a further way to focus on and to solve the ongoing frustrate situations that often occur in day to day actions I’ve had to deal with myself succumbing to yet another fundamental attribution error. The problem is only apparent and aware “after the fact”. Although I know the situation at hand carries a great deal of apprehension and is often very tense in both parties it’s hard to get a “positive” reaction from the other person without being overly happy and joyful. A monotone voice and demeanor seems to yield a “negative” reception and often get a negative reply and causes anger. The cause is plain as day and very obvious. The person is looking for acceptance in their actions although none is needed nor required the fact that they’ve done something uncommon yields a need for additional acceptance of such actions. The recipient in the situation feels apprehensive and overlooked because of the uncommon action and experience not often dealt with. There is a bit of loneliness and jealousy of the party which tends to yield either 1 or 2 actions. The first is the most common and a cause of fundamental attribution error. The reaction is typically that of anger and frustration because the person is put in a situation of decision and an often uncommon “negative” thought is too hard to fight off. This reaction has a tendency to make the person visualize events that are not as they truly are. Once such thoughts are considered the mind wonders until it can find a non supporting response which at times can be like fuel to a flame. The cause is the thought often require and almost demands vindication from the other ex: “Your big pimpin aren’t you”, the person is looking for justification in the form of sarcasm. The response can be that of acknowledgement in the tone of even greater sarcasm or it can be a re-assuring response of support. Either way the effected person is now put in a position of decision and the tables are turned. Actions like this causes an uneasy thought and makes the person think about why they are being “questioned”. Is it a lack of trust? Or is the person simply controlling and selfish. Neither of the two is valid, but those are the only two obvious and apparent thoughts under the circumstance. Why? This is yet another example of Fundamental attribution error: The person typically doesn’t allow the option of the person being a bit insecure because of the uncommon situation they’ve been put in which is typically the case. Although the couple might have a VERY close bond uncommon actions often are not interpreted correctly which is the “root cause” of the situation. If either party can focus on the root cause and break the chain of actions the outcome is usually a lot more positive and healthy. The key is to understand the overall situation and understand that there will be a bit of apprehension and concern by both parties and to simply not allow a statement or action to cause a detrimental response that becomes the root cause or beginning of a fundamental attribution error. ------------ Email Abel M. Tirre: capabel@dslextreme.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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