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Apr 28, 2004 Every once in a while, I scan the headlines of different newspapers and news websites to keep up the façade that I am an objective writer who is actually looking for all sides of a story, rather than a journalist. And also every once in a while, although much less often, I actually find a headline that is interesting. This just happened to me yesterday, and as a result of not having thought out an article in advance, I am going to write on this subject instead. The Dallas Morning News reported that four students from the Lancaster Intermediate School were upset that the schools were being forced to cut back on the French fries served in school lunches. Now this bit of news was absolutely shocking to me because, the last time I checked, we had “Middle” schools, not “Intermediate” schools. This therefore proves that I am not getting “old” and “out of touch” which should enhance my credentials considerably should I ever decide to run for public office. Unfortunately, I didn’t stop reading the article there. Instead, I read the arguments that these four students were using to make their case that school sucks. For example, Dylan Williams stated: “They didn’t ask us; they’re just taking away our rights.” My highly trained mind looked over the quote and pondered the obvious question that everyone asks: How did a sixth grader learn how to put a semi-colon in the middle of a sentence like that? Okay, I made that part up because I want to work for the New York Times and need to show some skills for them to hire me. In reality, I was struck by the realization that when Jefferson, Madison, Washington, and other people named after famous American cities were drafting the Constitution they dropped the ball. The reason why is that when I read the Constitution, for some reason I could not find any mention at all to anything relating to a right to have French fries. This travesty must not go on forever. The Lancaster Intermediate School even now is probably informing Dylan that fries are not a right, and this poor sixth grader will never want to be quoted in the news ever again. This is just not right. Even more amazing, however, is the statement from Jessica Story, who has the perfect name for an up and coming journalist. She asked the all- important question: “Why do they get to make decisions about us? We’re pre-teens, almost grown-ups.” Unfortunately, someone will have to explain to Jessica that school is a form of government, and it does not matter that you are almost a grown-up. In fact, when you become a grown-up, you will find out that government still wants to make all your decisions for you. This will happen for the rest of your life and there is nothing you can do about it. On the other hand, this sort of question does demonstrate that Jessica has all the latent talent needed to cover the White House. I can envision her twenty years from now standing before President George Z. Bush asking, “Why do you get to make decisions about us when we voted for the other guy? We’re journalists, almost human!” Until then, however, we must wait for the answer to the epitomic question: Why would anyone want to eat school food anyway? ------------ About the author: Peter Pike lives in Colorado, where he grew up on school food which, combined with low oxygen in the high altitude, made him who he is today. Visit his website at PeterPike.com. Email: peter@peterpike.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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