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Losing Teeth

By S.E. Vail
Apr 26, 2004

Playing hockey is great. If you do it right- you lose teeth. Not all players lose teeth, but not all players fight or get hit. Some believe that hockey is a useless game composed of blatant violence that rots out the teeth of those playing and watching. Not so, I say, not so.

Most referees break up conflicts before they even start to look like a fight. If a fight has already started, the refs are not to interfere until one knee hits the ice. One knee from one player involved. This is why most people want to kill the refs- it's extremely distressful to have this process interrupted. I mean, c'mon- they're going into the penalty box once they seperate the players, anyway, so why not let them have a little fun?

Unfortunately, more time is spent in the dentist's office than in the penalty box if you're not careful. Hence the very large, very expensive masks. Mine was $300, and it was cheap. It is, however, better than losing teeth. Goalies see all the action. There's nothing better than being between the pipes with a couple of good teams in front of you. It's a cheap thrill, and it's one that not many people get. Most people shiver at the mere thought of standing in the way of a 1-pound, hard rubber puck coming at you at speeds upwards of 95 miles an hour. This makes the job very rewarding. (And worth the risk of losing teeth.)

A high school goalie will spend an average of $2,000 for full equipment and some ice time. Any other position costs between $500 and $800 for full equipment and some ice time. For professionals, it moves up several hundred bucks, based on personal preferences. Travelling teams also add thousands of dollars to play their games on foreign ice. Supposedly this is done for the violence, knocking-out-of-teeth, and every other stereotype related to the game of hockey. I haven't even seen anyone get their teeth knocked out yet.

One guy from Idaho's pro ice team, the Steelheads, has a tooth knocked out. Only one. Some people were dissapointed when I pointed this out. I laughed. The fans are worse than the players- they almost always are. This one guy's name is Scott Burt- he's a favorite among the fans. But he's the only one with a missing tooth showing. Ironically enough, that turns some people off. I laugh at that, too. Idaho hockey fans are great- loud, rowdy, loyal, and somewhat sterotypical. I admit that- it's what makes other teams jealous when they come to our arena- the B. of A. Centre. The loyalty and high-decibal cheering coming from the fans right onto the ice. This happens even when the players aren't losing teeth. Even the local high school ice leagues attract a lot of attention from fans- there's usually only standing room at the games now, and high-schoolers don't lose teeth. That is what hockey is about. It's not, regardless of what some may say, about losing a tooth in a fight, or breaking bones, or anything most people think of. It's about the goalie making that incredible save. It's about the forward making that awesome goal in the third pocket in the last 30 seconds of the game. It's about the coach having another win under his belt. It's about the fans. The fans that spend hundreds of dollars to come to every game. The fans that spend even more money on merchandise- that know every player on the team, the fans that wait at the end of the game at the tunnel for their favorite players to come out and sign merchandise. That's what hockey's about- forget the teeth.

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About the author S.E. Vail: I am a junior at Nampa High in Nampa, Idaho. I write regular articles for several magazines and newspapers, and have several short stories published. I am the goalie for the ice hockey team my friends and I started, and I regularly place in Speech and Debate tournaments around the state. Email: icedawggoalie@hotmail.com

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