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May 10, 2003 One of the many things that I have noticed in the two and a half years that I've been a parent is that whenever parent's get together, especially when their children are present, is the amount of bragging that goes on, not about the parent's own accomplishments, most of these people don't have any, but the child's. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with people bragging on their kids, in fact there are a lot of kids who needed to be bragged on. I've done a fair amount of bragging myself on my own daughter, did I mention that she's a genius. No where it get's annoying is when the focus turns from the child to basically one upping the other parent which is what it is most times. It has nothing to do with the kid. Just imagine a group of mothers on the playground watching their kids play and I'm sorry ladies Mamas are the worst. "It sure did turn out nice today didn't it." "Sure did." "You know just this morning I took little Bubba outside and he said 'Warm Mama warm.'" "Well yesterday me and little Skeeter were out in the back yard and he pointed to the sun and said: 'Look Mama the sun.'" "Well little Skillet read the thermometer last week." "Well little Bubba predicted this warm weather last month." "Well little Skeeter has built his own Doppler radar and blah ba blah blah blah." Pretty soon the only people on the playground with any maturity are the children who are getting along fine and are engrossed in something really important like an anthill or a stick. Right about know, especially if you’re feeling guilty, your probably saying to yourself something along the lines of "Who cares" or "Is this really that big of a deal?" And it's probably not, but the reason that I'm writing about this, other than needing something to write about, is that I always wonder what effect this type of bravado has on the child. First off if someone likes bragging about their kids that much I'll bet apples to oranges that the kids are getting a mad amount of pressure to succeed in everything that they undertake which can be a good thing, but when carried to far it can be pretty bad as well. It is my firm belief that every type of person on God's earth is put here to perform a certain task. Teacher's teach, preacher's preach, thieves take stuff and the police catch them. A child's job in this life is simple. What their supposed to do is get in trouble, get dirty, make to much noise and occasionally break something. In short it's called being a kid and at a time when children grow up way too fast to begin with, should we be pushing them to be paragons of physical and mental perfection? Will our worlds crumble around us if little Betty Sue only scores five goals in a soccer game or (gasp!) makes a B. I also have to wonder how far some parents will go to make winners of their kids. There's Vic Morrow's character in the Bad News Bears who actually slaps his kid for missing a play then there are the real life stories of beauty pageant and cheerleading mom's killing off the competition. I saw an interview with future hall of fame quarterback Steve Young and his mother who bragged about charging onto the field during a peewee football game that Steve was playing in and slapping another kid for tackling her son too hard. Hey lady if you don't want your kid roughed up sign him up for ping pong. In 1998 a Greensboro woman was given six months probation and a fifteen day suspended sentence for slapping a fifteen year old referee in her eleven year old son's soccer game. Never ones to be out done Dad's can be just as bad and in 2002 a Reading, Massachusetts man was convicted for involuntary manslaughter after he beat another man to death at his son's hockey practice. You can see how this kind of behavior, from the bragging to the killing, can put a damper on some of your child's supposedly fun time activities. In addition kids learn patterns of behavior by watching their parents and if they see you act a certain way their going to act that way themselves. So before you throw dump your soda over someone's head think about who's watching you. That's something we all should remember, me included. If I had my way parents would be made to watch their children's little league games or activities on a close circuit T.V. a good way away or sign something saying that we can shoot them at dawn if they couldn't behave themselves. I think that if this was done or some other less drastic measures were taken you would see a difference in the way the children acted and interacted. There might be a lot less fighting and arguing. Not as much showing off and talking trash and best of all they'd have a lot more fun. Well that's enough of that. I think we're going out to play. ------------ Email Jonathan Farlow: jonathan-farlow@excite.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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