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May 7, 2003 Sometimes I sit near the phone at the end of the day, wondering why I got into this. Working with people can be fun, don't get me wrong. Of course I love it, or I wouldn't be doing it. But I must confess, for all my so called "infinite patience" (my co-worker's term, not mine), sometimes I'm a bit baffled. Back when I worked for the government, I called one of the big financials in New York City. I was thrilled to be placing a call to one of the world's financial giants, but the phone call left me stumped. I called, gave them my identifying information, told them why I was calling, and what information I needed. The conversation with the woman who answered went like this: "Do you understand that we're located on Wall Street? It's busy here." "I understand, but I still need the info.” “And who did you say you were with?” she asked. “The State of Texas.” I replied. “I won’t give you it.” She yelled, getting defensive. I really needed the info, so I decided to go with one of the state’s advertising slogans. “Did you ever hear the saying “Don’t mess with Texas?” I asked. She laughed and gave me the information. Then came the baffler. “This is a private number, you’re not supposed to be able to get it.” That was a shock. It was in the Yellow Pages. It’s not like they didn’t have to pay to get it in there. Then there was the time when (and this happens so often it’s scary), a woman called my office wanting to adopt a child and said: “You’re agency was supposed to contact me in five days, they haven’t yet.” “How many days has it been?” “Two.” “You still have three more to go” “But you sent me a form. What am I supposed to do with it?” “Did you fill it out?” “No. It asks me to write my name on it. What should I do?” “Write your name on it.” “What if I don’t?” “Then we can’t process the form.” “Then it says to write my address. Should I write it?” “Only if you want us to send you the information.” “You have to send me the information.” “Then write you’re address.” “I don’t want to.” “Then we can’t send you the information.” “Even if I only don’t write it because I don’t want to?” Last time I checked we couldn’t send out information if we didn’t have an address to send it to, regardless of the person’s motivation for not giving their address. This continued for the next five minutes, covering phone number, race, birthdate, and a whole host of other questions. Then the caller asked: “What address do I write on the envelope?” I didn’t know because our agency takes information for six adoption agencies around the city. But, before I could say that, she read off the address the letter said to send it to. I encouraged her to send it there, but it was useless. She responded with a different address she felt like sending the application to. I typed the address in my database, and responded: “Ma’am, that’s the police department.” “I know that. It’s the dispatcher’s office.” Maybe it’s just me, but I still can’t figure out what good an adoption application is going to do on the police dispatcher’s desk. I have a strange feeling she wouldn’t be a good candidate for adopting a child anyway. But my favorite call has to be when a man called at two in the morning asking if the FDA would know the ingredients in a specific antibiotic. I informed him they probably would. He called back five minutes later and angrily yelled” “You idiot! They said they don’t know!” I couldn’t imagine the FDA was open at that hour. Instead of getting defensive, I went with my gut, asked who he talked to. His response? The janitor! And I know for certain I’ve baffled people with my responses too, like the time I insisted a car wheel should cost about five dollars because wheels always come with tires and I’ve gotten a tire for 35.00 before. Never mind the fact that neither I nor anyone else I’ve ever talked to has ever seen a wheel and tire sold together. Why is it that for most of us, thinking before we open our mouths is so hard to understand? David Aurisano is a graduate student at the University of Houston. Email David: daurisano@hotmail.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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