Many parents complain about troubles with children, especially when they are about to enter those infamous terrible twos. I have learned a little information since I have been a parent for the last year and a half. I dont claim to know it all, but this is some advice that I have learned from reading. The following are a few tips on understanding what it means to parent, so raising children can be a more pleasant experience for the entire household.

The first chapter of a handbook on raising children called How to Live with Children suggests to have a good stable adult with love and tolerance in his heart ... As a parent, get right with yourself before deciding to have children. Whether you have total stability or you fall short mentally, your child, who can perceive this all, will learn and imitate this behavior.

The most important information to know is contained in the following quotation: The main consideration in raising children is the problem of training them without breaking them. You want to raise your children in such a way that you dont have to control him, so that he will be in full possession of himself at all times. Upon that depends his good behavior, his health, his sanity.

Believe it or not, the handbook claims that parents often mistake children for dogs, sometimes unknowingly. The only similarity of children and animals is their size, but when they grow physically and mentality, they will resent those who have tried to control them.

People often raise their children based on the way their parents raised them. Children are merely men and women who have not yet attained full growth, yet some feel that they can get away with forcing the child to do things.

Think of it in terms of how every adult would prefer to be treated. If an adult were ordered around and restrained from doing what he wanted to do, he would automatically resent such treatment. In fact, he might be inclined to half murder the control-freak. Please remember that children are no different. They strike back by interrupting naps, getting the floor muddy and destroying the peace in the home. This is no accident. This is his way of seeking revenge; it is human nature.

In the handbook, this following piece of advice warns: The sweetness and love of a child is preserved only so long as he can exert his own self-determinism. You interrupt that and to a degree you interrupt his life.

At the same time, I am certainly not suggesting that you allow your kids to do whatever they want and step all over you. There are few cases where you can guide your child away from harm. These are the times he threatens to hurt his body or plays dangerously. Most any other time, he is simply acting as children do, and I will suggest to allow him to be himself.

There are two ways to improve this situation. Make sure the child is in an environment where he cannot hurt himself and which does not restrict his space too much. Secondly, clean up aberrations (departures from rational thought or behavior) so that the tolerance of the adult equals the childs lack of education in how to please the adult.

How did this vicious cycle of training children as dogs begin? Psychology used to teach us that man is evil, so it was then necessary to train a man to be a social animal.

Now, we know the opposite is, in fact, true. Man is basically good and only through severe aberration is man made into an evil being. Training drives a man into non sociability, but man must retain personal ability to adapt to his environment to remain sane. A man is sane and safe as he is self-determined.

About the author: Brooke Hadley currently writes freelance feature articles and has six years of professional writing experience. She has recently been published in Mystic, CT, Los Angeles, CA, and Austin, TX. She currently lives in Austin with her new hubby and their son, Skylar Austin. Email Brooke Hadley: PersistentGerl@hotmail.com.

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