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Mar 14, 2003 Its official. After watching Phil Donahues ratings deteriorate to The Magic Hour territory, MSNBC pulled the plug on his show. Once hailed as the great white hope for liberals desperate for a foothold in talk media, Donahue failed to deliver where it counts: that key demographic of viewers who are awake and facing their sets. Bill OReilly, Sean Hannity, and, on slow nights, re-runs of Alice consistently thumped Donahue. Poor Phil joins Mario Cuomo, Jim Hightower, and others in the line of failed attempts to see if liberal talk will take outside of Madison, Berkeley, and Ann Arbor. In all fairness to Donahue, I did catch his show a couple times, mostly as a result of my clicker being on the fritz. Cuomo was actually a guest of Donahues a few weeks back on a show about liberal bias in the media. A telling moment came when an audience member asked Cuomo why liberals consistently fail in the talk arena. The erudite former Governor of New York replied, "It's because we wouldn't want one their message is written with crayon; ours with a fine, quill pen." The audience golf clapped approvingly. I nearly choked on my dinner. With all due respect to the Governor, his comment was silly, bordering on childish. It smacked of the same sort of playground, "I-never- wanted-to-play-with-your-stupid-toy- anyway" response a kid will use when trying to hide raging jealousy. The truth, of course, is that the overwhelming successes of conservative talk radio and TV drives liberals absolutely bonkers. Not only are they shocked that by the numbers that tune in to Rush et al, they have been astonishingly inept in their efforts to duplicate the same level of success. After years of predicting Limbaugh's demise and a parading out a string of failed competitors, liberals like Cuomo are reduced to feigning disinterest in the whole endeavor. It might make them feel better about having their clocks cleaned, but dont buy it for a minute. If liberals were truly above partisan talk shows, they wouldnt keep trying. Its now been reported that two Chicago progressives with $10 million to burn have agreed to sponsor the next liberal challenger, with comedian/author Al Franken listed as a possible knight in leftist armor. Franken is a sharp guy, but doomed to fail should he decide to get behind the microphone. Here's why: 1) Liberals have other outlets. One of the reasons that Limbaugh, Fox News, etc have been so wildly successful is that they provide an alternative that a large audience had obviously been craving quite simply, its a case of market forces at work. Liberals can read the op- ed page of the New York Times, listen to NPR, or watch Dan Rather to get their daily dose of moral superiority. 2) The ideology doesnt lend itself well to the format. Liberalism/progressivism is, by definition, based on a good deal of emotion: a feeling of how the world should be. This tends to reduce much of their argument to the emotionally appealing, thirty-second sound bites used by Tom Daschle and company. Its tough to fill three hours of radio with this sort of claptrap: theres only so many times you can mention tax cuts for the rich before listeners would start tuning in to those two guys who fix cars. 3) The Liberal base is fractured into distinct, unrelated camps. Conservatives dont agree on everything across the board, but the core tenets are fairly universal: limited government, low taxes, individual responsibility, and an intense dislike for the Clintons. The liberal base, on the other hand, consists of people who tend to feel strongly about one or two causes. An autoworker in Detroit who votes Democratic and goes hunting on the weekend may think that Michael Moores Everyman-brand of corporate bashing is a hoot. Bowling for Columbine, however, is probably not his next rental at Blockbuster. A host who prattles on about gun control would lose this listener quickly. The point is that any liberal contender, whether its Franken or otherwise, will inevitably try to please every sector of their potential audience. This is exactly why it wont work. Consider a Volvo packed with college students on their way to a Phish concert. Those kids might stick around for a 15-minute tirade against drilling in ANWAR; when the topic switches to universal prescription drug coverage they are popping a CD in the dash. Let Franken give it a whirl - in fact, best of luck to him. As for his two Chicago bankrollers with all that cash to throw away, maybe they can spare an extra $5. I need a new remote. About Matthew Bastian: Recovering socialst, part-time drummer, long-suffering Brewers fan, and all-around beach hound, Mr. Bastian lives in central New Jersey. Email Matthew Bastian: mbastian19@hotmail.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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