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 By Patrick Hurley Mar. 7, 2006 If you like to watch a dialogue where one person is probably guilty and the other one asks stupid questions without following up on the evasive answer then Greta Van Sustern talking to ANYONE is your kind of interviewer. Why is this person on television? She is as cutting edge as a butter knife. If you want to make the world like you after you have chopped up fourteen people with a machete, call Greta. She MIGHT mention the word, "machete," but, it will only be in passing. She is more interested in the voluminous number of her questions, not the quality of them. If you turn loose amiable Greta on Robert Blake, here is how the interview would be ON THE RECORD: Greta: So, Robert, let me understand this...you went into the restaurant to retrieve your gun and left your wife, Bonnie out in the car and when you came back after a few short minutes, you found her dead? Robert: Yes, Greta, that is right. Greta: Didn't you find that a bit unusual? Robert: Not at all, Greta. Obviously, someone snuck up to our car while I was inside and shot her and ran off. (shrugs his shoulders) Greta: Sure. What was it like being in, "The Little Rascals?" Did you get along with Spanky and Alfalfa? Robert: Yes, Greta I did. We all laughed at Alfalfa's hair cut, especially that one strand that shot straight up. Greta: Kinda like your cockatoo in, "Baretta!" Robert: (laughing) Yeah, Greta, I guess you could say that! Yep, we all love Greta. Here is what she would sound like if she were with Ted Bundy.... Greta: The police tracked over a hundred women who disappeared when you were in the area. Don't you find that a remarkable coincidence that they went missing when you showed up at the time of their murders? Ted: Remarkable? Not really. Women go missing all the time, Greta. Greta: So, you at one time you were studying to be a lawyer, Ted? Ted: Yes, Greta. But, I am the kind of guy who likes more action. I am a passionate man. Greta: Are you a killer, Ted? Ted: Not at all, no. And, not one woman has ever accused me of being a killer, Greta. If anyone is a victim here, I am. All these rumors have made it difficult for me to travel freely and meet new girls. I am the one who is being persecuted here. Greta: Makes sense, Ted. Coming up next, our idiot panel which is made up primarily of defense lawyers who believe Ted, Robert, OJ, Joran, the Hillside Stranglers, Hitler, the 9/11 terrorists and satan are all innocent of any crimes against humanity. And later, ON THE RECORD will explore the concept of stupid girls and the decisions they make late at night. Plus, we will reveal a poll of whether or not you like my plastic surgery and if it has made me more attractive. All that after this message... You go, Greta. Far, far away. And take Joran with you. You two deserve each other. ------------ About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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