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 By Patrick Hurley Mar. 6, 2006 The 78th Annual Academy Awards are over. Thank God. The entertainment's root canal is completed. We can get back to enjoying life again. For months there was rampant speculation that the four top honorees, Best Actor, Actress, Director and Picture, were going to be given to movie representatives with gay themes. The speculation was only half right. Philip Seymour Hoffman won for, "Capote," and, Ang Lee was the best director in the cowboy loves cowboy romance, "Brokeback Mountain." But, Reese Witherspoon, who played June Carter in the television movie disguised as a motion picture, "Walk the Line" won Best Actress. In the upset of the night, "Crash," a driver education movie which is now being shown in high school classes replacing the gory, "The Last Prom," upset the (potentially, but it will never happen) breakthrough movie about gay lovers finally being accepted in mainstream society. The famous line from the movie, "I wish I knew how to quit you." was something enough Oscar voters figured out before they embarrassed the Academy with not only giving the Best Picture award to a controversial movie, but to a mediocre one. It would be tantamount to a Best Picture honor going to, "Reefer Madness." Long gone are the glory days of Hollywood which used to produce real movies like, "Bridge over the River Kwai," "Lawrence of Arabia," "The Sound of Music," and, "The Godfather." In their place, we have niche movies produced by independent film makers who have an agenda of their own to announce to the world. Frankly, most of the world does not care about these personal mission statements. The world just wants a good movie, with solid acting, a plot line that moves our souls humorously, dramatically or romantically and something most of us can relate to in our every day lives. Most of the world is not comprised of a gay sheepherder looking for another gay sheepherder. To further understand the current state of affairs in Hollywood (and why most of us feel they are sadly out of touch with the human race) the best Song was a sprightly little hip hop number entitled, "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp!" The expletive-laden lyrics had to be toned down for the telecast. This probably did not sit well with the heir apparent to the Beatles, that famously talented rap group most of us have never heard of, Three 6 Mafia. Three all-American boys just singing their little hearts out to the, uh, ladies out there. Fasten your seat belts for the 21st Century! The movers and shakers for the next fifty years have arrived. And, we were worried about Elvis... Growing up, many of us loved watching the Academy Awards. They had Bob Hope or Johnny Carson as the host, there were bonafide movie stars galore from Gary Cooper to Elizabehth Taylor to William Holden to Dustin Hoffman to Meryl Streep. It was an asylum, but it was a talented institution, so it was okay for the inmates there to take it over. Now, the kids who were hired at the rehab facility to mow the lawns and drive the delivery trucks have somehow infiltrated the asylum and what you saw last night is what you get. The lack of quality in motion pictures is not going to improve over the next few years because the trend is to pay special attention to independent film makers and their goofy themes. No, the change will only happen when movie goers like you and me stop going to our local theaters and stop buying their second-rate DVD's so we can send a simple message to the dysfunctional studio heads and producers out there, "We figured out a way to quit YOU!" Maybe then, we will have an Academy Award show we can not only be proud of but one that will watchable. Just like the movies we used to enjoy because they touched our hearts and inspired our dreams.. ------------ About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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