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Jan. 24, 2006 HA! Take THAT, you crummy, bleeding heart, wimpy Liberals! The Conservatives have rolled over your party like a tsunami, and crushed your pandering policies for the sake of the PEOPLE! What? You think this is a 2004 flashback? No, gentle reader--blink--and it's the day after the Canadian Elections! The TORIES (yes, that conjures up images of men in tricorns and redcoats, doesn't it?) have claimed victory in a political process that is the coolest thing, in my opinion. Say, for example, you don't like your boss at work. So, you and the rest of your employees get together and vote him out. Oh, too much like "Survivor", you say? Well, it seems as if governments based on a parliamentary process have been doing this for centuries, long before Mark Burnett thought to shove a few people on deserted islands and such. So, you start the murmuring that the secretaries are wearing their hemlines a little too high, hinting at their liberal proclivities, or that the accoutants are always speaking about overspending and cost-cutting, clearly conservative clattertrap. So, you as the people raise a hue and cry, and let it be known that you have no confidence in the status quo leadership. You know what happens next, right? They ("They" being those in power) start to enact policies designed to ameliorate the masses. Longer smoke breaks, less expensive lattes, shorter working hours, and on Fridays, along with the casual dress, maybe "bring your goldfish to work" during lunch. But, you start to see through the smoke and mirrors, and see Oz for what it really is, don't you, Dorothy? No, not a place populated by really short people and big hairy beasts with wings (well, there ARE those Kokannee commercials...), but the original policies that made you revolt in the first place are still in effect. So, your current government is the weakest link to our sanity and survival. Good-bye! And that's what a majority of Canadians said yesterday at the polls. No, if they were chanting, "We Want Bush", they weren't talking about George W...maybe for Reggie to come save us from the mediocricy that is the CFL...certainly not Marcus Vick, who would just elevate the dialogue of gun control and legalization of controlled substances. And those are LIBERAL thoughts from a sick and twisted mind, aren't they? "God keep our land, glorious and freeee..." until the next election, of course... ------------ About the author: After barely surviving the 2004 presidential election massacre, Chuck Tyler excaped north to Canada, where he is a copywriter/editor for OurSportsCentral.com. He can still be reached at tyler_1420@yahoo.com, and is accepting donations for knitted items such as mittens and sweaters. Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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