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Jan. 2, 2006 Bush once again defended his order to the NSA to wire-tap only incoming calls from the land faraway. “They’ve attacked us before; they’ll attack us again.” He said sternly and confidently to hungry reporters. We know of course that the “they” he is referring to are Osama’s henchmen. Apparently Osama isn’t one of the callers. Surely the NSA could track these calls to their origin, couldn’t they? Hmmm. Maybe Osama has a cell phone with a good package deal on minutes. Republicans have a short memory or perhaps no memory at all of a man named Nixon. Nixon was his name and wire-tapping was his game. Of course, he was given forgiveness by his successor in power, Gerald Ford, and all was well in the fairytale land of Conservatives. Was the keystone of Conservativism, Rush Limbaugh, alive when Nixon left office in shame? Surely not. They weren’t making Oxycodone back in those days, just LSD and marijuana. The Rush-man would never touch such illegal medications. It would be immoral. Now, the Satan-worshipping Democrats are calling for impeachment. The word is being tossed around Washington D.C. like an old worn pair of socks. No President would be impeached during a time of war, even Satan would know that. We have too many other things in this country to worry about. Get off the impeachment kick. We need to worry about the cooling trend in our housing market, the down slide of General Motors, and the thousands of evacuees wanting to go back to a contaminated New Orleans. Impeach the President? It’s not a priority. Besides, who else could the evil empire of liberals make humor about? It’s so fun. Rumor has it, though, Republicans are trying to blame all of our natural disasters on the Voodoo-loving Democratic leprechauns. I know for certain Hillary carries a white salamander in her purse. She places it in her shrimp cocktail and Brigham Young appears to her in a puff of smoke offering revelations that would put Nostradamus to shame.
Trying to put the year 2005 in perspective is like trying to lasso a hammerhead shark in a feeding frenzy. It can’t be done. Much like the years preceding it, 2005 will go down like the Titanic, but less famously.
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