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Sept. 29, 2005 My small grandchild divides her time between living with her mom and dad. One of her parents has more stability than the other because he has parents that help him out financially. Is that the right thing to do? If we parents can afford to give money and material possessions to our children, will they ever learn to be financially independent? Without the help of their parents, do the majority of adult children make it on their own in the world these days? I have two children in their mid twenties. One does hold a steady job and one tries to the best of their ability to do so. Neither of them is particularly responsible with money. I thought that because I taught them how to save when they were young, they would carry that skill into their adulthood. Not true. We have no control over our adult age children. Is it possible that we enable them to continue to not take responsibility for themselves when we do for them what the world expects adults to do for themselves? Why is it that we do the best we can when we raise our children, yet sometimes they can’t get the hang of being responsible adults? I always thought that I was a great parent. I figured that when my kids were grown up, they certainly wouldn’t have the problems I heard other people say their offspring had. My children would be different! Well, at least all the parenting books I read told me so. When they were young, they got allowances and had bank accounts so that they could see that when you work for your money, you set some of it aside to save. They were involved in sports and classes outside of school that would sharpen their creative abilities. The books said to be sure they are involved, so there would be less time for them to be in trouble. I knew who their friends were and there were plenty of rules with consequences, if broken. The books didn’t tell me that once on their own, a 22 year old could become a drug addict. A 23 year old would choose to have a child and no means to support the child. A 24 year old gets arrested and spends time in jail. A 25 year old can’t afford to buy a car. A 26 year old defaults on student loans and has bill collectors after them, along with ruined credit. A 27 year old continually attracts equally irresponsible people as friends and lovers. Does it ever end? Do parents ever stop worrying about their children and hoping for them to succeed in life? When is it my turn to be able to walk into the gift shop and find a Hallmark card that says something about me being proud of both my kids? There will be some readers who will relate to my concerns, I’m sure. Others will be happy their offspring are the successful ones and they’ll congratulate themselves on having done a fine job of raising them. It seems we all like to take credit when our kids do things right and we tend to wonder how they got to be the way they are, when things turn out less than perfect. It’s possible it’s in the genes. I suspect it is so. It must be their father’s side of the family that has these particular genes. ------------ About the author Debra A. Warren: Visit: http://www.freewebs.com/deb_w/ Email: dw3333@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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