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Sept. 25, 2005 Mired in a swamp of indifference, the spectral empty shell of the Holloway fund-raising campaign seems destined to soon join its captain, Patrick Hurley, and also sink into well-earned oblivion. Where, then, will Patrick practice his distinguished wordsmith’s trade? Mr. Hurley, no doubt peering myopically through his blood-red spectacles, speculated http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/sept/article292.html, “In a fair world, Dayo would be the one that Joran and the boys should have had fun with in the back seat of that car.” Mr. Hurley, whose crimson-shirted and avuncular picture would open purse strings if he could license it to be used as the poster boy for an organization dedicated to the support of indigent defrocked and disgraced parish priests, has introduced into the missing-from-Aruba farce his openly expressed hopes for homosexual rape and a less-fair God. Ply yourself with alcohol, Patrick, and hit the mean streets. I feel certain that someone drunker than you, and even more desperate, might come across you in your crimson shirt and help you to slake your now-expressed desires. Your search for a less-fair God could take you much further afield than the local trysting spot for crimson-shirted and hope-filled wannabe catamites. Iraq could be the go-to place for you, where your self-confessed preference for gratuitous violence, your impressive impiety and your portly girth will allow you to mingle, unnoticed, with the local Armageddon-seeking adventurers. The trusts might even front you a Toyota Tundra or two until you can get your land legs back, your new sandals broken in, and that more-unfair God answers the ads you pin up on the bulletin boards of the local mosques. If, unfairly, there are no responses from a violence-loving God (Kali seldom haunts the souks of the Muslim world), why not trundle off in the Tundra and relocate, as the shell-shocked, demoralized youth of the Golden Crescent are in desperate need of a motivational speaker, even one who is as potty-mouthed as you tend to be in your e-mail exchanges. Let your love of your Lord lead this lost youth away from the mindless violence presently practised in their lands; I am sure that you are motivated enough to direct them to goals and targets of your own choosing. Meanwhile, back in God-filled America, it had gone from better to best for the Internet-fueled donation drives—unless you lived in Meridian, Mississippi, where the constant appeals to send cash the way of the Holloways had vacuumed the area dry. “"People have given so much this year to causes such as the tsunami relief and Natalee Holloway funds," Grissom said. "Individual giving is down this year, especially for us. We've been behind (financially) every month this year, except one month. It's going to be difficult." http://www.meridianstar.com/articles/2005/09/20/local_news/top_story/a1-charities.txt (and please do note the live link to yet another Holloway plea for cash.) Alas, Patrick, (no matter what hopes for high-end wheels your pastor whispers in his flocks’ ears as he hands around the collection plate) please pass on, before you depart for more hate-filled shores, the fact that devastated mothers don’t often find missing-in-Aruba children in the showrooms of Birmingham, Alabama, Toyota dealerships. ------------ About the author: Dayo Gould is a frequent visitor to Aruba, and is a volunteer ESL teacher in a Christian school. Email: ed_asp@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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