HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Sept. 23, 2005 I give you the next president of these United States. Out walks President Davis. The whole room stands up and cheers bringing the house down. The first words out of his mouth are - SHUT UP!!!" This guy was a screamer. This country never really had a screamer before this guy. His speech started and he just got louder and louder. Pounding fists on the podium and telling the room what needs to be done to fix this country. He sounded like Sam Kinison on steroids. When one of his aids walked up to him to see if he can calm him down the President slaps him across the room. "Now this is what I like to see." said one of the reporters. This guy meant business. This guy will get the job done. The first business at hand was to hold a meeting in the oval orifice, I mean office. The president calls in all of his men and starts telling them what he wants to be done. He proposes to send in one million troops to Iraq and finish that mess once and for all. Other presidents in the past would send in a few thousand at a time and we would watch as they go down like bowling pins. He intends to bring home all of our troops and send in the auxiliary army. His next proposal will be to release all of the prisoners in the United States and send them over there. Then to finalize this deal and make sure the war would end we would send in all the street gangs and mobsters. Not only has this president single handedly cleaned up the streets, he dealt with the overcrowded jails and the mafia. The Americans were pleased. The troops were home again, and they didn’t care if the "Auxiliary army" got slaughtered or not. Things were on the move again. Gas prices came down to an all time low of forty three cents a gallon. There were no homeless and his idea about repaving America paid off. He started on the east coast putting all men to work repaving every road in these United States all the way to the west coast. Now I am not saying that all of his ideas panned out. The one where he wanted a billion trees planted in NYC did not. The trees seemed to make this choking sound and withered and died. His other idea of pouring a hundred tons of water on the deserts fell through also. The deserts seemed to soak up the water like little tongues. But his greatest idea worked and that’s all we really wanted. Wow, sending in a million troops, who would have ever thunk it. Now that this was taken care of this President starts in on the deficit. He calls in every rich man one at a time and like Jerry Lewis at a telethon he makes these guys hand over fifty percent of all their belongings. Wow this problem was cleared up in a few weeks. Now he is a calmer and mellower president. He decides to take a walk and enjoy his well doings around town. He sees an iced cream truck and smiles. He walks over to the truck and asks for a soft cone, vanilla. The man reaches into the bin but he doesn’t pull out a cone but a gun. He aims it at the Presidents head and fires one fatal shot. "POW!!!" The President goes down and cries ring out. The President wakes up from this bad dream to a pounding at his bedroom door. He answers it. It is one of his aids. "Mr. President, we need to send in reinforcements now sir." The president still stunned from this horrific dream simply says "Yeah, ok, just send in another thousand. ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino I found this fan site aimed towards me: http://www.geocities.com/goombabobby He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
