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Sept. 16, 2005 I was given an assignment to gather information on the enemy. I must say what I saw shocked me, but that's my fault I should have been ready for that. Having spent years writing about them you still aren't ready for it when you see it. Personally I don't know how I got into the meeting without being noticed. I was the only one who wasn't wearing tie-dye t-shirts, or something with a picture of Che Guevera on it. I was also the only one who had bathed in the last week. I must confess to being confused. Had I walked into a meeting of people who had different political beliefs than I or had a walked into a congregation of escaped mental patients? I suppose the word congregation is not appropriate here. They kept mentioning something about a wall of seperation, in fact when news arrived that the words "under God" had been declared unconstitutional the room erupted into euphoric cheers. These people were acting like they had just won the lottery( maybe now they could afford some soap). Apparently the news happened to coincide with their first ritual. The first 15 minutes were spent hand wringing, and raging about Christians and an imminent theocracy. Not that they didn't believe in God they were always quick to remind the audience, at least to maintain that line in public. After the God haters were finished with their ritual rants,(one could almost call the atheistic prayers) others were allowed to the podium. I managed to record some of what was being said. Unidentified Female "What are we going to do about the right wing media? We all know that NBC, CBS, and ABC are nothing more than mouth pieces for the GOP. They have ignored the fact that BUsh created the hurricane and targeted it at black people in order to get the media from paying attention to Cindy Sheehan." Here she was interrupted by loud applause. My confusion deepened. If Bush was so stupid how does he control the weather, and direct it only at certain people? And if they are so much smarter why don't they make their own Hurricane to target white republicans? With the end of that the next speaker took the floor. Unidentified white male (he looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place him) "As we all know, I was robbed in the election of 2000. (this remark brought groans,and comments of "not again" from the audience.) This warmongering, illegitimate president is steering the country in the wrong direction, why he couldn't even break the law to send federal troops to New Orleans. We all know that if I had been president I would have been able to summon the powers of mother earht and blow the hurricane out to sea." Fortunately at this point someone cut the microphone, escorted him back to his seat and started to give him some kind of pills. The last speaker of the night rose to take the microphone. I knew I recognized her from somewhere, but she appeared to be in disguise. "Did Bill follow me here tonight?" she asked quickly into the microphone. Once she was assured that Bill was not in the meeting she got ready to speak. However sirens in the distance broke up the meeting. It seems that many in attendance were mental patients and the Hospital had come to collect them. Fortuantely I was able to slip away unnoticed. End report. ------------ About the author: Craig Chamberlain has written more than 100 articles for Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: craig_chamberlain@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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