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Sept. 2, 2005 For all I know life as we know it started when I was born. Anyone can write history but how do we know if that reality exists? It is simple, we don’t. I researched the hardcore fax and dug up the real scoop on history. In the year 1774 Ben Franklyn invents the hundred dollar bill but the towns folks forbid him to call it the hundred dollar Ben. The reason was that Ben had enough things named after him. The Franklyn Mint was a candy unknown to mankind at the time. It was soon after placed on every pillow in every motel and hotel during that time period and the tradition still goes on today. Franklyn also invented the Bi focal, glasses that folded both ways. He also invented many other things such as banning of books, the library, which was the place to hold these same said books and the very first almanac dedicated to his favorite rock band the Allman Brothers. Their great, great, great grandsons still carry on the tradition of the music today. George Washington was also one of histories greatest assets. He was a great general and best known for his wooden teeth He is known to the world as the father of our country. This I always wondered about but my research made things more clearly to me. There are over a hundred places that say, Washington slept here. It is no wonder he got the reputation of being the father of our country. I wonder if Martha knew about his sneaking around. New York named a bridge after his teeth, or his bridge. The Wright brothers invented the plane. It was just a box with wings and an engine. Nothing fancy, that’s why they called it a plane. There first plane was built in Wilber’s basement. When finished, Orville slapped Wilber in the head and said “Hey dummy, how the heck are we supposed to get this thing out of here?” Marco Polo was the man that brought back noodles from China. It is a little known fact that he also dabbled in swimming games. Columbus was credited to have discovered America named after the ships navigator, Americus Vaspucci. He acquired the ships the Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria and the Love Boat. We know of the three but as for the Love Boat that was cancelled due to the fact that it simply cost too much to keep afloat. Edison was the forst to record sounds. He recorded "Mary had a little lamb and on the flip side he sang "indagaddadivita." He was first to prove that a loaf of bread was the mother of the airplane. We must remember that a loaf of bread is necessity and the airplain was invention. Therefore the loaf of bread was indeed the mother of invention. Frank Zappa is proof of that. Edison signed him to a recording contract in the sisties, the eighteen sixties. I hope this clears up some of the real facts of history and as you can clearly see I had way too much coffee when I wrote this and I promise not to ever do this again. By, by. Buy Bonds and goo goo ka jube. ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: VitoGoomba@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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