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Oct. 27, 2005 I just finished watching a movie about a woman who was afraid to leave her house. She would get to the front door, start trembling, open it, and collapse from the fear. It made me curious as to how many documented phobias there really are. Want to take a guess? Well, I can’t really tell you the actual number because I stopped looking at 531. I’m sure there are many more, considering how ludicrous some of them are. All right, we all agree people are afraid of heights (acrophobia), flying (aviophobia), spiders (arachnophobia), getting sick (nosemaphobia), small spaces (claustrophobia), germs (spermatophobia), bees (apiphobia) and the dark (achluophobia). And children often have fears of clowns (coulrophobia), puppets (pupaphobia), dogs (cynophobia), cats (gatophobia), and insects (entomophobia) –occasionally they even suffer from lachanophobia (fear of vegetables) and on their way home with a bad report card, there are certainly a nostophobe (fear of returning home) or two. But how about acerophobia (fear of sourness), anthrophobia (fear of flowers), aulophobia (fear of flutes), chorophobia (fear of dancing), deipnophobia (fear of dinner conversations) and papyrophobia (fear of paper)? Sound ridiculous? Obviously those who are afraid of beards (pogonophobia) do not suffer from xyrophobia (fear of razors) and those afraid of nudity (gymnophobia – wonder where that one came from!) do not suffer from vestiphobia (fear of clothing). Why did the chicken cross the street? I don’t know, but evidently he did not have a fear of cars (motorphobia), streets( agyrophobia), crossing streets (dromophobia), walking (ambulophobia) or of other chickens (alektorophobia). It very well may be he never crossed the street due to his decidophobia (fear of making decisions). Then there are those that suffer from dextrophobia (fear of objects at the right side of the body) or levophobia (fear of objects at the left side of the body) –if you have both you no doubt would wander the world with blinders on – unless you are equinophobic (Yes, you saw it coming, didn’t you? – afraid of horses). I guess if you are a vampire you would suffer from alliumphobia (fear of garlic), heliophobia (fear of the sun), xylophobia (fear of wooden things) in conjunction with staurophobia (fear of the crucifix), eosophobia (fear of daylight) and hagiophobia (fear of saints/holy things) but definitely not from hemophobia (fear of blood), thanatophobia (fear of death), necrophobia (fear of dead things), coimetrophobia (fear of cemeteries), phasmophobia (fear of ghosts), gerascophobia (fear of growing old), eisoptrophobia (fear of seeing oneself in the mirror), rhytiphobia (fear of getting wrinkles), placophobia (fear of tombstones) or odontophobia (fear of teeth). Many a Sunday morning we find those ecclesiophobic (fear of church) theologicophobes (fear of religion) still sleeping in bed. It might just be that they are enosiophobic (fear of having committed an unforgivable sin), homilophobic (fear of sermons), or ouranophobic(fear of heaven). Possibly it’s on a more personal level – they could be hierophobic (fear of priests), papaphobic (fear of the Pope) or Zeusophobic (fear of God), but we can be sure they are not satanophobic (fear of Satan). Of course, I could be overreacting – they are all probably just kathisophobic. You’ll never guess... they have a fear of sitting down! They say cleanliness is next to Godliness, therefore in that Sunday crowd of hadephobes (fear of going to hell) there is probably an automysophobic or two in the bunch (fear of being dirty). Personally, I’ve met a few men that were gamophobic (fear of marriage) – it could be that they suffered from a bad case of penteraphobia (fear of a mother-in-law), dishabilophobic (fear of undressing in front of someone) – and even a philophobe or two (fear of falling/being in love). I would guess the medomalacuphobic man (fear of losing an erect penis) would also suffer from clinophobia (fear of going to bed). But the pharmaceutical industry has now come to his aid and so he would never have to be philemaphobic (fear of kissing) or anuptaphobic (fear of being single) again! Well it’s obvious by now that I do not have graphophobia (fear of writing), logizomechanophobia (fear of computers), logophobia (fear of words) or sesquipedalophobia (fear of long words) – but I’m beginning to develop a real case of phobophobia (fear of phobias)! Strange how many fears center around sex and religion. I don’t know what this says about us a society, but I do know that if there is something you are afraid of you are probably not alone – which will come as much relief to the isolophobes out there. So, I’ll finish by wishing you a very Happy Halloween ~ OH! ~ Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare those samhainophobes out there! ------------ Email Brynn Bacardi: bacgwy@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. 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