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The Group Most Discriminated Against In America

By Ron Lewis
Oct. 9, 2005

All the UK piffle about racism, gay marriage, and atheists made me consider: who are the most abused people in America? Which group suffers the most discrimination? I believe one group ‘wins’ that award hands down, and it isn’t any of those listed above.

Try growing up ugly. You will be rejected universally, except by other ugly people. Talk about unfair, ugly people are not linked to high crime rates, low intelligence, laziness, bigotry, drug addiction (although that illness will turn a handsome person ugly), or any of the other character flaws commonly cited when other groups are denigrated.

Ugly people get rejected for jobs, political office (John Kerry), dates (me), party invites, club memberships, and any other opportunity that subjects the applicant to personal assessment. Yet, none of those opportunities list appearance as criterion. We can all understand an ugly person losing out in a beauty pageant, but to be rejected for the kickball team in grade school because you’re ugly is unfathomable – wouldn’t one’s ability to kick, catch, or throw a ball be the only requirement?

While I may not be considered butt-ugly, no one (except my dearest Patty) considers me handsome. I have seen photogenic people get selected over me numerous times, despite my seemingly superior qualities in the pertinent areas of the opportunity. Mr. Stelly and Mr. Graham have both written me claiming I can’t comprehend their frustration with racism because I’m white – I’d rather be a good looking black man than an ugly white guy (admittedly, being an ugly black guy would be worse)

How many good-looking no-talents are admired by our culture simply because they’re eye candy? The list is way too long for this venue, but I’d mention these to illustrate my point: Jessica Simpson/Nick Latchey (sp?), Richard Gere, Brad Pitt, Taye Diggs, Jason Sehorn, Elizabeth Hurley, and the entire cast of Baywatch or Beverly Hill 90102 (whatever that zip code was). And how about those stupid bands like Backstreet Boys or the Spice Girls – none of their members could play an instrument or compose a song better than the average high school band triangle player.

I swore off pursuing beautiful girls long ago (Patty changed my mind in her instance). Besides being horribly high maintenance (alas, my Patty confirms this), disgustingly vain, and selfish, they’re so dang shallow that I was never successful anyway.

I’ve advised my daughter and stepdaughters to avoid good-looking boys like the plague. Only my daughter is old enough to date and thankfully, despite her own beauty (my first wife’s genes – she was beautiful, but went literally crazy), she’s found a nice ugly guy. In my life, I’ve noticed that being a good looking guy in the formative years of one’s late teens is almost a guarantee of future loser-ness. My high school's mascot was the "Apollos" and each year, one male student was selected to don Roman god attire and strut around the football field. He was always good-looking. Well, I met my graduating class' mascot at a reunion (didn't recognize him, I was a hippie then and those years are kinda fuzzy) and he is now driving a garbage truck. Of course, he tried to make it sound better - he specialized in hazardous wastes - but it was still garbage. I hypothesize that this results from the basic male obsession with getting laid.

If a male finds it exceedingly easy to get laid in those formative years – i.e. if he was eye candy and all the shallow girls threw themselves at him – he never develops ambition. Getting laid was all important and life was going to be easy for him. I, on the other hand, being less than photogenic knew that if I was to ever get laid consistently I was going to have to be successful in life. Do you think Bill Gates got laid a lot in high school? Alas, the other attraction to most women is money. Still, I prefer sexual-obsession induced ambition to eye candy laziness.

The next time any of you start to write another pathetic diatribe on how your little minority group is picked upon, think about us ugly people. Like those legendary starving children in China, I think you’ll suddenly not feel so bad about your particular problems. And if you, too, are ugly, take heart – those pretty folks are only going to get less pretty over time. Kinda like when people tell us, "I may be fat (another sad victimized group), but you’re ugly and I can lose weight," you can tell them, "I may be ugly now, but you’ll be joining me soon."

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About the author: Ron Lewis is a software salesman extraordinaire, albeit habitually unemployed, with no significant accomplishments at age 47 other than two wonderfully talented children who take after their mother. All his friends note his keen insight, bad eyesight, doggedly jaded disposition, and rugged bad looks. A third person seems to recall that he talks too much.

Email: grnacres@direcway.com


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