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Oct. 7, 2005 The latest novel, “The Da Bushi Code,” is quite entertaining when compared to such greats as “Watching Paint Dry,” “Bubbling Water,” and “The Inside Of A Brick.” The author of this novel wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. According to “The Da Bushi Code” the real mother of Cain (Da Bushi) and Abel (Da Bushi) was named Barbara. The story goes that Barbara and Slim (alias Herbert Walker Da Bushi) morally could not kill Abel themselves; therefore, they beget, begat, and be-damned a kid named Cain. The story continues with some background on Cain, or Cain The Cantankerous. Cain learned to hate Abel early on in his childhood because of Abel’s incessant lying, e.g., “No one uses pipe bombs anymore.” Abel became so angered by his monkey-like brother he decided to “slew” (or slay) him. Problem was, Cain was not as smart as Abel and didn’t know the meaning of the word “slew.” He thought it meant slaw and he eventually ate himself to death on Barbara’s Cole slaw. The gas caused by this notorious slaw generated enough power to light the Houston Astrodome for a solid year. It’s a sad but a very revealing story about the Da Bushi family, much can be learned by studying this epic novel of a rich primate family caught in a political upheaval. It will soon be in bookstores near you. The asking price for the book is a paltry $24.99 (publisher – Publish America). This great publishing house has made a public statement reporting the book would be worth twice the asking price if only the author would come forth with her name (did I say “her”), but Barbara refuses to release her name for fear of not being allowed in public restaurants. One extremely positive result of this novel is the invention of the V6 Cole-Slaw powered Chrysler. This vehicle is equipped with twelve airbags in which to breathe. It seems the foul odor given off by the engine is so powerful it can hypnotize the driver and passengers into believing anything the U.S. president declares.
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