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Nov. 29, 2005 Back in early June, before the now-unravelling riddles relating to Natalee Holloway (the vanished-from-Aruba daughter of the media-maven-loving Beth Holloway-Twitty) were firmly embedded in the public consciousness, Senator Spencer Bachus, the Republican Chairman of the Subcommittee on Financial Institutions and Consumer Credit, stepped up to the plate and requested that the FBI become heavily involved with the evolving mystery. The vanishing occurred sometime on May 30th and, by the time he was interviewed by the Birmingham Times on June 4th, Senator Bachus considered himself to be sufficiently informed enough to alert his Sunday-newspaper reading Alabama constituents as follows: "U.S. Rep. Spencer Bachus, R-Vestavia Hills, said Saturday there were circumstances surrounding Holloway's disappearance that warranted the FBI being heavily involved. He declined to give details. "The circumstances were disturbing," said Bachus, who formally requested the FBI's involvement. "I can't get into it, but it's something the family is aware of. There was an immediate recognition that this was not simply a teen who wandered off." http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/news/111796344124200.xml&coll=2 These must indeed have been deeply disturbing circumstances, as 13 G-men were rapidly recalled from their in-America investigations and dispatched to far-off Aruba. Were these FBI agents, front-line foot-soldiers in America’s War on Terrorism, seconded to Aruba to assist with poring through financial records for proof of continued support for anti-American activities (…Allegedly, much of the proceeds garnered by the Mansur brothers went to Hizballah….” http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/sept/article230.html)? We may never know because, unlike the now-muzzled Beth Twitty, the FBI (and seemingly the now-reticent senator) operates solely on a ‘need-to-know' basis during on-going investigations. We are presently excluded from that information loop and therefore must speculate and extrapolate. We had been informed, via the daily updates, that the Alabama posse rushed to Aruba on the McWane executive jet and was fully prepared for the unpleasant task of extracting a pleasure-loving, errant teenager from an over-stayed vacation idyll (even though Beth had been blathering ‘kidnapping’ to avert speeding charges on her own 100-mph, cross-states dash). Within a very short period of time, after an early-morning conversation at the van der Sloot home, the situation was upgraded to a full-blown, medical emergency, with a fully staffed MedJet charter called in to assist with the extraction, and then a search for (and of) Aruban crack houses was initiated: alas, unsuccessfully…but then again, beautiful missing-from-Aruba Alabama honours students (especially one who was, according to various websites, awarded an eight-year, full-ride scholarship for a four-year premedicine degree at the University of Alabama) aren’t often found in crack houses, either in Aruba or Alabama, right?) All of the above, while undoubtedly greatly distressing to the protagonists and assuredly highly entertaining to the unwashed masses, would not seem to have warranted calling in 13 FBI agents, and should not have been cause for Senator Bachus to disrupt his weekend break (shoot, a sitting senator shouldn’t even break wind over that, never mind breaking out into a sweat). HollowayMedia Inc., segueing further down the slippery slope that could lead to eventual self-destruction, seamlessly intuited that four Aruban individuals had somehow, somewhere, done something to the over-stayed daughter and caused her to disappear. Speculation and supposition (smoke and mirrors, as they call it in political parlance), but certainly not enough to justify the presence of a baker’s dozen of G-men, and assuredly nothing to disturb the weekend repose of a senator who oversees America’s financial institutions. Could it possibly have been the involvement of the darker-hued Kalpoes which so ruffled the Republican’s feathers and motivated him to request that the FBI thin their ranks on the American Rubicon’s banks? The FBI is involved with Homeland Security and the hunt for the also-vanished Usama Bin Laden. In the predawn darkness of the initial meeting, did Beth et al intuit that Deepak was really an Arab and an Al Qaeda operative, and then leap to the logical conclusion that Joran van der Sloot was surely Bin Laden (Joran and Usama are about the same height and they both speak a foreign-to-Beth language)? That flight of fancy, if presented through the proper channels, would have to catch the attention of a few more than 13 G-men and would disturb a Republican senator (it’s doubtful that the President would allow a sitting senator to claim and keep the $50-million, Bin Laden reward, which could disturb Senator Bachus greatly). In retrospect (and I do say this with the deepest sympathy for the residents of Mountain Brook), it might have been much, much better if Beth herself had been tranquilized and trucked out on that waiting Medjet. Of course, had that happened, Matt wouldn't have his Tundra; the funds could be about $50-million poorer; Velcro Joe would still be living in hard-earned and well-deserved obscurity in Philly--and there would now be a new generation of endangered turtles gracing the warm waters of the Caribbean, instead of having ended up, squished and stuck fast, on the bottoms of Texas EquuSearch's hazmat boots and beer coolers. Might we hear more of the Subcommittee on Financial Institutions and Consumer Credit in the near future, especially in relation to the workings of those mysterious funds? ------------ About the author: Dayo Gould is a frequent visitor to Aruba, and is a volunteer ESL teacher in a Christian school. 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