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Nov. 29, 2005 Several months ago the American Film Institute compiled a list of the 100 most memorable movie quotes. I am a fan of older films and many of these lines and the context in which they were used are familiar to me. So I decided to have a little fun with some of those statements by adding a smart-aleck response. Here's looking at you, kid. “Help! Police—it’s R. Kelly!” Well, nobody's perfect.(From “Some Like It Hot”) “Don’t I know it. I’m sober and I’m hitting on a guy in a dress.” Houston, we have a problem. “Erectile dysfunction keeping you ‘grounded’? Try Enzyte!” You had me at "hello." “Damn. I can’t wait for you to get a few more beers under your belt.” I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore! “Shut up, pull your panties up, wipe the stain off your dress and get the hell outta my office, Miss Lewinsky!” As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again. “What, you got your food stamps today?” Yo, Adrian! “Believe it or not, Burt, that’s his idea of foreplay.” Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. “Sheesh...talk about clumsy homosexual come-ons.” I am big! It's the pictures that got small. “That’s what they all say, followed by ‘it’s not the size of the ship...’” Love means never having to say you're sorry. “Is that your way of telling me you had a positive HIV test?” E.T. phone home. “E.T. No have fifty cents.” Made it, Ma! Top of the world! “He always told me he was gonna ‘blow up’, but this is ridiculous.” May the Force be with you. “Yeah, like it was with Rodney King...” All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up. “You could use some Close-Up; -toothpaste, that is. Your breath is killing me!” You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. “And you coulda brushed your teeth before you told me that.” Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. “I’m sure you don’t, so take this: Your mustache isn’t the only thing that’s ‘pencil thin’.” There's no place like home. “Oh, yeah? Ever heard of ‘Bellevue’?” ,br> Round up the usual suspects. “...In other words the black guys.” Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges! “Okay...but could you at least change your stinking shirt? The stench from your it is nauseating me.” There's no crying in baseball! “There is when Dusty Baker’s your manager.” Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make. “Whoa...the sun must be getting to me. I’m starting to sound like a priest.” ------------ About the author: Timothy Stelly is a 46-year old California native with a wide variety of interests-from fishing to politics, which have a lot in common: Both require you to deal with worms and most of your time is spent idling. He is a former Democrat, believing that Party represents outdated ideas. He is officially registered as an Independent, choosing to keep his options open. Timothy is also the author of more than 80 screenplays and novels, two of which have been "published": "Tempest In The Stone" and "The Malice Of Cain", both available through PublishAmerica. He defines his writing style as "Hip-hop fiction; a cross between Richard Pryor and Richard Wright." His UK columns is written in a hard-edged style, but he is not yet a curmudgeon or a conservative. (Is that redundant?) After all, one of his favorite movies is "The Adventures of Milo and Otis." stellbread0.tripod.com Email: stellbread@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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