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Nov. 22, 2005 WASHINGTON D.C. – Announced today by a reliable Whitehouse spokesman, President Bush has rescinded his pardon of “Biscuits” and “Gravy,” two turkeys that were sure to spend Thanksgiving alive. The president’s change of heart came after he learned that Biscuits and Gravy were liberals and dead, no pun intended, set against the war. Apparently President Bush was overheard telling his wife, “I aint never pardoned any turkeys in Texas and I’ll be danged if I’ll pardon any now. The president was not available for comment. TAUS (Turkey’s Against Unnecessary Slaughter) have built a large fire pit in front of the Whitehouse to roast the president. Calls for impeachment have been heard from Georgia to Indiana. One activist group PTP (Pardon The President) has taken up a petition to allow Biscuits and Gravy to be given a choice of pardoning one member of the White House staff. When questioned about who his choice would be, Biscuits reported, “I would pardon Karl Rove for all the pork he has been shoveling to his party’s constituents. No comments have been made by Mr. Rove. He was on the phone trying to get a pumpkin roll recipe from his friend Dick Cheney when reporters attempted to question him. When the president was finally reached for questioning, he was asked if he thought this whole incident was treasonous. President Bush replied indignantly, “There are no trees on us. I think next week Laura and I are lighting a tree on the White House lawn, but that’s the only tree I am aware of.” No more questions were asked because the President was obviously incoherent from anger. More information is expected on Thanksgiving Day when the president and his wife are expected to tour the damage made by TAUS to the White House lawn.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
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