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Nov. 17, 2005 Dear Brooke, I have just read your article on whining. We are at wits end with this. Our son, Tyler, has just turned 3 and our nerves are frazzled. He is an only child, and we probably have let him get away with a little too much. Basically, he has us wrapped around his finger and has us running around with our heads chopped off, so to speak. Do you think your tactic will work with his age? I don't think he gets it. Thanks for your help. Clare and Eric Well the information I’ve described in my column worked for our two-year-old. He’s now four, and he rarely whines. I would say to go ahead and try it. I really think that he’s smart enough to catch on, but if, for some reason, he doesn’t get it right away, keep consistent. In the meantime, here’s something he will get ... stickers. After my family moved to Los Angeles, my oldest son started to protest the move. The basic attitude and manners of the children were declining. So I made a Fun Day Board, and in no time at all, conditions improved. Materials You WIll Need: poster board black marker tape or tacks patience and lots of stickers 1. At the top of the poster, write something cute to define the project. I wrote, “Skylar and Drew’s Fun Day.” 2. Create a vertical column to the left, that lists all of the things you’d like your child to do in a day. Include things that he already does well and areas which need improvement. For instance, I wrote, “brush your teeth” and “get dressed,” since my kids already enjoy doing these things. (I know. I’m lucky. No fights there.) In another column, I wrote, “listening” and “sharing,” since my kids could use some help with these. For another section, I wrote, “meal time.” For this, my oldest son is expected to sit at the table without wandering off, and Drew is asked to not throw his plate on the floor when he’s finished eating. 3. On the top, you can create columns with the date, day of the week or just your child’s initials. I wrote sections for both of my kids, and for our next project, I’m going to include my own name. 4. Draw lines to create a graph. You can organize your board in which ever way will best work for you. When you’re finished, tape or tack it to the wall where they can see but not touch it. Let the Changing Begin Designate a specific time each day to review the progress. At my house, we have “sticker time” right before bed. We have it every day, and you can bet my kids won’t let me skip it. We go line by line and recount the events of the day. They get a sparkly smiley face sticker for each thing they did well and a black “x” for the things they neglected to do. After they win three stickers, for the fourth sticker in a row, I give them a special Thomas the Train sticker. When the stickers reach the end of the row, he’s accomplished a Fun Day. This means that you go and do all of his favorite things on a Sunday afternoon when the whole family can attend. On these days, we go to the toy store to play. I buy them each a small toy, and we have lunch at Burger King. After nap time, there’s more fun on the schedule. And trust me, after dealing with near angelic sticker hungry kids for a few weeks, this Fun Day is a blast for everyone. A Few Rules of Your Own Be very honest when distributing stickers and prizes. Don’t ever give him a sticker that he didn’t earn, and don’t expect him to be perfect in order to obtain one. When he sees you being fair, it will also show him by example, how to treat others. If you want to give in and pass out stickers, the value of the currency declines, and this won’t work. If you are tempted to buy him small toys before Fun Day, go ahead and buy them, but put them away and save them for the big day. This method will not only help him to improve, but it will teach him the importance of setting goals and working to make things happen. If done right, you get rewards as well. Your Fun Days will consist of a cooperative child, and peace in the home. Where stickers are earned, everyone wins. ------------ About the author: Brooke Hadley recently moved to Los Angeles with her two children, Skylar and Drew. She owns a business called Composing Moments, and her client list includes Glamour, Austin Monthly, Texas Bride, East West Woman and many more. She recently won the Best Citizen Journalist award for HappyNews.com. Feel free to check her out at www.ComposingMoments.com. Peace, love, unity ... PersistentGerl Brooke Writer, researcher, photographer, philosopher and more ... Email: persistentgerl@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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