Nov. 9, 2005
If you are man out there and you are wondering how to make your lady smile more, let me give you some humorously PRACTICAL ideas! Here is a Top Ten List of how to make a woman smile from the top of her head to the tingling in her toes....trust me, I have been divorced.
10. Choose your compliments CAREFULLY! Most women do not believe their man when we are too effusive in our compliments to them. For example, if your woman is a little chubby and you say, "You look more and more like Cindy Crawford every day!"...you are a moron. She is NOT going to buy that in her lifetime. However, if you say, "Honey, have you lost some weight? You look really good today!" You may as well go get in bed immediately because she will soon join you there. Oh yeah!
9. Apologize. Even if you don't think you are wrong, learn to say, "Sweetie, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." The key here is not your version of events, it is HERS! If she thinks you need to apologize, you need to apologize. The argument is over. She is not a jury, she is the one you love. Admit when you are wrong and when she believes you are wrong. Trust me on this one.
8. Get her out of the house and SPOIL her! A woman gets into a rut if her routine never changes. This move does not necessarily have to cost you a lot of money, either. When I say, "spoil her," I am NOT talking about multiple carats here. It could be as simple as taking her to the mall, buying her a sweater and giggling over corn dogs in the Food Court! It is not always WHERE you take a woman, it is how often and the fun she has when she experiences it.
7. Cook for her. Some of us men have trouble inserting a pop tart in a toaster! But, that is not the point. There are things you can cook for your lady that are fairly simple and she will LOVE putting her feet up and letting you stumble around the kitchen. Heat up water in a large sauce pan, when it begins boiling, throw in your pasta noodle and lay a piece of salmon in the broiler at 400 degrees. When the pasta is soft and the salmon looks cooked enough to eat without you contacting salmonella poisoning, cut it up in chunks, mix it with four cheese sauce over the pasta, light a candle (women LOVE candles!) on the table, pour the white wine and go over and kiss your lady telling her dinner is...served. You will blow her MIND!
6. Write her a POEM! This does not have to Robert Frostesque. It does not even have to rhyme. But, it does need to have two components; it has to be complimentary about her and it needs to be hand-written by you on a nice card. Remember, it is the PRESENTATION here! Here is a sample of something simple..."I look at you and know me better for much of what I am is made of you!" If that is too corny, try this, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, you have a nose, like a B-52!" Uh, maybe not.... Tell you what, write a poem and email it to me for approval before you give it to her. I am here to serve.
5. Don't COMPLAIN when she buys something she loves. Instead, say this, "Wow! Great choice, sweetie! I am really proud of you." Then, after she has left the room, go outside and run up a hill screaming at the top of your lungs, "I can't believe she wasted my MONEY on that piece of crap!!!" Remember, she is your queen. You love her. Even when she spends foolishly.
4. Just hold her in bed. I know you love sex. You are a man. I get it. But, there are a lot of times when a woman is not in a mood to match your goals for that bedroom mission of yours. So, when she SAYS, "I just want you to hold me tonight." You will bring a smile to her face when you do just that. You may lose the battle for an evening, but you will win the overall war time and time again. Yes.
3. Honor her in public. There are several little things you can do here. Open her car door for her as she is getting in. She may or may not prefer that you do it when she is getting out. Get up out of your chair and bring her something she just mentioned she forgot to get before she sat down. Always walk on the OUTSIDE of the roadway or the mall parking lot and let her know that you are doing so to protect her. When she stands in a restaurant to leave for the restroom, you stand with her. Sit back down and when she is coming back in to the dining area, stand AGAIN! This sends her and the rest of the diners that the most important person in the place is coming back to her table. She will feel so honored. Of course, the other women at THEIR tables will be glaring at their dates as if to say, "Look how that man treats his wife! You never do that for me!" But, you are not obligated to make other women smile, just your gal.
2. Buy her little gifts. I am not talking about presents that benefit YOU, here. I am sure that a sexy teddy from Victoria's may seem like the gift of love from you, but it may not be her idea of unselfishness. Women love a variety of fairly inexpensive touches like...chocolate, her favorite magazines, a gift certificate to her favorite coffee place, bath oil, a candle with her favorite scent, nacho chips and salsa from her favortie restaurant...well, you get the idea, now go get the GIFT!
Finally, the #1 thing to make a woman smile...
1. Tell her you love her several times a day! Learn to say it in different ways with various inflections. She is with you because she loves you. She took that gamble. Validate it over and over again in her mind. One final addendum to that....say, "I love you," and then hand her the remote control and let her flip the channels. This will send you into comatose shock the first few times you do it, but it will accomplish one thing....
It will make her smile.
About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California.