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Nov. 18, 2004 The pilgrims of American history were intolerant religious fanatics. That American history books claim they were persecuted themselves is nonsensical revisionism with the true story taken completely out of context. William Brewster founded his own church in 1608; he wanted a purified version of the Church of England which wasn't Protestant enough for him. No other churches were acceptable to him, and if he had the power, he would have outlawed them. By 1610 the puritans were already strong in the House of Commons in England, but this wasn't enough for Mr. Brewster, so he took his followers to Holland where the fanatical hypocrites soon wore out their welcome. In exchange for declaring his allegiance to King James, Mr. Brewster was granted both a pardon and land in the Virginia colony. Actually, the authorities hoped he and his followers would die in the harsh new land. Mr. Brewster should have kept his mouth shut and stayed in England. Twenty years or so later, the puritans in Parliament took over, killed the king, and executed all of his supporters. For awhile, puritans--under the military dictatorship of Oliver Cromwell--controlled England. But Mr. Brewster was impatient. Backed financially by Thomas Weston who eventually broke even on the investment, the pilgrims set sail on the Mayflower to North America beginning on August 25, 1620. Mr. Brewster and his supporters (William Bradford and others) led 100 other people on a very miserable boat ride. There were no sleeping quarters, no toilets, and nobody wore any underwear. They all had on one set of clothes, and they generally dressed like a bunch of pirates. The food was hard tack and pickled meat. At least they had 12% beer to help them endure the uncomfortable passage. Sixty five days later they landed near what is now Plymouth, Massachusetts. Due to the 12% beer, they missed what is now New York by a wide margin. This is what they had been aiming for. Instead, they settled for where they landed because they were almost out of beer and had to make a new batch. The pilgrims were city slickers and as such their skills in carpentry, fishing, hunting, and farming were poor. Despite the abundance of game, half the colony died the first winter. Lucky, for them, Samoset--a local Indian-- introduced them to Squanto whose own story is remarkable. Squanto was captured by Spanish slavers, but he escaped to England, stowed away on a boat to New Foundland, and travelled back to Plymouth where he found out his whole tribe had been massacred and pilgrims were living there instead. He lived with the pilgrims and taught them how to grow corn and squash, build fish traps, snare game, and gather wild fruits, nuts, and vegetables. The richest man had been elected the first governor, but he died and was replaced by William Bradford who was a big fancier of executions, whippings, stockades, and other forms of medieval torture. He also reduced the number of men who could vote. On October 15, 1621 he declared the first feast, or reception day. Here it is. The official menu of the very first Thanksgiving. Venison, wild ducks, salt pork, corn bread, ship's biscuit, flat beer, and wild grape wine. Soon, more colonists arrived and they brought with them livestock, parsnips, turnips, rye, peas, apple trees, and cherry trees. In about twenty years orchards of apple trees--bent over from the constant sea breeze--were growing along the coast of Massachusetts. The cuisine improved. The Europeans adapted many basic American Indian recipes. Here are some of the best ones. 1. Congregational Soup--Made of clams, eel grass (a seaweed), and cornstarch. Substitute celery and cream of celery soup for the eel grass and cornstarch. It's not bad. 2. Fish eggs mixed with ground hazlenuts. Fish really goes with nuts. Think Trout Almandine. Have that instead. 3. Dunfish--smoked fish stored in hay. This is like kippers, but I haven't figured out how to add the grassy flavor, and I'm afraid to store fish in hay for sanitary reasons. 4. Rye and Injun bread--This is my favorite. Take a standard cornbread recipe and substitute honey for sugar and rye flour for wheat flour. 5. Indian pudding--A cornmeal based recipe that uses honey and maple syrup for the sweetening rather than molasses as in modern recipes. It's excellent. 6. Baked beans--Again honey and maple syrup are used instead of molasses. It's better than modern recipes for that reason. 7. Venison sausage--Half ground venison mixed with half ground raccoon. Haven't tried this one. Raccoons are too darn cute to eat. ------------ About the author Mark Gelbart: My book, Talk Radio, is a black comedy about a radio talk show host who gets kidnapped and psychologically tortured by a loser. It will be published by Publish America within the next year. Email: agelbart@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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