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May 28, 2005 Hot on the heels of the erroneous Newsweek report that American Soldiers had flushed a copy of the Koran at Guantanamo Bay, there are new reports surfacing that more abuse of sacred texts has occurred. Harry Reid, the Senate minority leader has been accused of flushing a copy of the Holy Bible in a Senate men’s room. Jess Somenerd, an aide to Senator Reid responded saying “it was just some tract that Mike DeWine had left in the men’s room. It might have had a few verses in it, but it’s not like he flushed an entire leather-bound edition of the King James Version.” Response from the GOP has been predictably vehement. Angered Republicans responded by flushing the U.S. Constitution down the toilet. “Our forefathers did not install indoor plumbing so that godless liberals could flush the holy, inspired word of God down the toilet like so much feces!” shouted an angry Senator Frist. He went on to suggest that the Republican majority had the votes to change the constitution making it illegal to flush the Bible and if the Democrats wouldn’t give them an up or down vote on it they would take away both the filibuster and the indoor plumbing. A group of moderate senators is working on a compromise that would involve separate men’s rooms for Republicans and Democrats. The deal would allow Republicans to leave tracts and even coffee table sized family Bibles in their men’s room as long as they promised not to flush the Constitution. One senator, on condition of anonymity, said “At least we won’t have to use the same men’s room as those gay senators anymore.” Senate analysts have said that the compromise agreement would benefit the American people most. The Constitution will remain intact and with twice the number of rest rooms for senators there should be a lot less crap on the senate floor. ------------ About the author: Wayne Adkins is a former fundamentalist christian who became an atheist after two years of bible college. He is now a military officer recently returned from a year in Iraq...a real live atheist in a foxhole. He has written a manuscript debunking biblical inerrancy and the existence of God which can be found at his website at www.nakedemperor.netfirms.com. Email: tillnow67@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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