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May 28, 2005 The battle to confirm John Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations went down in flames when the cantankerous nominee was videotaped barbecuing a pair of love birds in his backyard grill. When Bolton was informed that the president had pulled his nomination, he exploded into smithereens, leaving behind only his white mustache and a small pebble, believed to be his heart. The Democrats immediately insisted that Oprah Winfrey would make a great choice for the coveted diplomatic post. Instead of a man who is rough around the edges, why not the roly poly ambassador of love and understanding, they pleaded? But the Democrats had to back down when Oprah insisted that she would serve as U.N. ambassador only if the world body was renamed "The United Nations of Oprah." In a surprise move President Bush nominated Jennifer Wilbanks as the next ambassador to the United Nations. Initially, the Democrats reacted with shock and outrageous, insisting that the born again Wilbanks is to rigidly conservative to serve as a diplomat. But when Wilbanks delivered a speech declaring that the answer to the quagmire in Iraq is for our troops to simply run away, the Democrats had a change of heart and they heaped praise on President George W. Bush for thinking outside the box, and making such a bold and unconventional nomination. It looks like smooth sailing for the Runaway Bride, she will most likely be confirmed by the Senate. Barring any spectacular development in the Jennifer Wilbanks saga, this will be my last Wilbanks essay. My psychiatrist strongly urged me to write an essay about something other than Wilbanks. ------------ About the author: Robert Paul Reyes is a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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