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If I Were Arabic, Mr. Olson Could Shake My Left Hand

By Ron Lewis
May 25, 2005

I found Useless-Knowledge.com late last year after posting for the first time only a few weeks earlier on other sites. While I admired the quality of writing I found elsewhere, there was no dialogue between authors in their posts – each served its own purpose without regard for others on that site. Useless-Knowledge offered the opportunity to receive feedback for my new writing interest, but more importantly, it provided a wealth of anonymous idiots I could abuse while maintaining an outwardly peaceful, loving, respectful demeanor to my family and the outside world. I had a lot of fun – for awhile.

But everything gets old, and my ugliness certainly got old to many on this site, so with a need to focus on my career increasing lately, I’ve only monitored UK for the last month or so, with just a couple of posts. Not surprisingly, the emails of concern for my absence have been few .

Whether it’s the full moon, those two beers, or the sheer enormity of Mr. Nicholas Olson’s stupidity, I cannot tell you, but I’m back – at least today. But don’t get me wrong, good Doctor Mick is quite capable of rebutting Mr. Olson’s idiocy. An our God-loving patriot, Mr. McCrae, can fervently express the view of those Olson attacks. Even Ken Hughes getstothetruthoftheissue, with or without his hated commas. But the site really does need a consistent contributor who can just flat out stand up and keystroke to the world, "THIS GUY’S AN IDIOT" when folks like Olson come on site spewing garbage. I’ll do it again this time, but please, won’t a few of you dogpile this guy?

Mr. Olson, you, my friend, are an idiot. Although you say, "My words will fall on some deaf ears, those that do not wish to hear different from what they are taught or what they teach", it is obvious from your article, "Religious Freedom", that you know only what the dominant liberal media has managed to squeeze into your tiny brain.

I, sir, have been constant in my call for toleration of all religions on this site, but I’ve done so intelligently, without opting for a cheap, low-brow attack on the mythical Religious Right conspiracy. That admirable goal can be argued logically and with facts, without attacking. You state absolutely no facts, just viscious innuendo that exposes the nobleness you portray in your first paragraph as nothing but typical left wing insanity. For Heaven’s sake, man, turn off your TV. Put down that NYTimes, LATimes, Washington Post, Newsweek, or whatever other liberal snotrag is pulling your strings.

As I’ve stated here many times, I consider myself the moderate you’re failing miserably to portray yourself. I recognize the excesses of the extreme Right but do not buy into the Liberal media’s spin that those few control the Republican party. My observations and the majority of Americans (how is it, again, that you claim the "majority" for your position?) suggest that the Republican party is comprised of a very large majority of (are you ready for this?) Moderate Conservatives!!!!!!!

Fortunately, I also observe, and polls suggest, that the Democratic party is comprised of a very large majority of (hold on again!!) Moderates!!!!! Extremely liberal members (if you exclude those who are merely selling their votes for government entitlements and are not really ideologically extremely liberal) are few. Unfortunately, those few do control the Democratic party. If you disagree, then explain why the party keeps losing elections yet never changes its platform in even the feeblest attempt to garner new supporters? The Republican Party is the Poster Child of the Millenia for changing to attract new members.

So, Mr. Olson, as much as my moderate position needs as many vocal supporters as we can find, your wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing gambit is not working, we don’t need your stupid help.

But, on to your article. It makes soooo many accusations without even the faint scent of a fact. You say, "Recent history is proving that a seemingly small group, as by percentage, of Americans are using their personal beliefs to trample the idea of freedom for all religions." What is this history? Where have they trampled? I don’t seek to defend them from you, I’m defending intelligence and exposing propoganda. I guarantee you that any example you provide will be met with an equal, if not more compelling, argument that the exact opposite is true. You justify the above statement with that ludicrous claim that the "majority" believes otherwise. Of course, since you’ve never actually stated what constituted "trampling", I can’t swear you’re wrong, but I’ll be ready with the voting results of every recent election whenever you grow testicles.

Next, you babble, "They have also aligned themselves with a political entity in the Republican party and are doing more than their fair share of changing the government for themselves." What does this mean? Is Dan Rather’s hand shoved up your backside making your lips move like a hand puppet? We wondered what he would do in retirement. Please, if the doctors will lower your dosage, will you provide any facts to go with this inanity?

Just because I now skip a few sentences of your article, don’t assume it’s because they made sense. You say, "Americans are getting a great glimpse into how this group is not working for the greater good but their own selfish, narrow-minded goals." Ahem, excuse me, did I miss something here? Oh, yes, where is that fact, did I miss it? When was this "great glimpse" of which you speak (wait, can I assume that, how do we know Mr. Olson is not really the pseudonym of a typing donkey?). Did I miss it? Could you even give me just a little, little hint of what it was I was supposed to have seen?

Enough of beating on you for spewing garbage, by now I gotta think even Dan Rather is sticking his finger out your throat to scratch his head in amazement that y’all couldn’t have done a better job making some sense. (Dan’s developed a very precise hindsight in this regard). The rest of your article continues with the same vague, ugliness reminiscent of the Third Reich’s finest speechwriters. However, at one point you do actually speak with some clarity about the plans of those you accuse.

You say, "Some day they may get a full stop to abortion, have homosexuals executed for their "sins" and even kick out all other religions that do not align with their beliefs." There you have it, folks. Within the ranks of the Slick Willie party, the faithful are ever careful to dodge factual examination. Yes, I do lean towards the right from my perch on the middle stool (to the left if I’m farting), but if I can ask you to accept unbias in my conclusion, I’ve consistently found the Right much more willing to drill into the facts on every issue. Yes, they may remain stubbornly steadfast in their regard of those facts, but they do not hide from them. The "extreme" Left, on the other hand, consistently hides. Thus, when you get even a glimmer of substance in their argument, one has to grab it quick. This quote from Mr. Olson is the only glimmer of substance in his entire article.

So, is he accurate? Is it the desire of the Republican Party, led by its nose ring by the Religious Right to: "get a full stop to abortion", "execute homosexuals", and "kick out all other religions"? Every shred of evidence resoundingly proves, "NO!" There are no initiatives from any Republican in any Federal, State, County, Parish, City, Town, School Board, Neighborhood Association, fantasy baseball league, etc., to enact such laws. Any Republican who proposed such a law would certainly be chastised by every other and almost certainly fail to win re-election.

Please people, understand that the Media has an agenda. When they use the same language Mr. Olson now repeats in his dazed, drooling obedience, stop, think. This is America. Yes, it’s a paradox that our freedoms lead to the truth while allowing blatant liars of the Left their Librium-induced opinions. It also allows the extremes on the Right their equally vehement blovation. But in truth, almost all of us are safely ensconced in the middle. And it’s comfy here.

If any of Mr. Olson’s friends or family also read UK.com, may I suggest an intevention. Better yet, sign him up on that new monstrosity from Hollywood of the same name, Intervention. We could all watch him blubber about endangered gays, abortion Nazis, and hooded Protestant Police while the friends sadly shake their heads and his Mother weeps. Now, "THAT’S EN-TER-TAIN-MENT!"

(No animals were injured in the crafting of this article although one was severely reprimanded. Do not try this at home.)

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About the author: Ron Lewis is a software salesman extraordinaire, albeit habitually unemployed, with no significant accomplishments at age 47 other than two wonderfully talented children who take after their mother. All his friends note his keen insight, bad eyesight, doggedly jaded disposition, and rugged bad looks. A third person seems to recall that he talks too much.

Email: grnacres@direcway.com


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