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May 8, 2005 My first brand new car was a 1970 Ford Maverick. Brand new, it cost approximately $2100.00, cheap huh? At the time it was advertised as “easy to work on…even for ladies.” He he he. I have to admit it was quite easy to change the oil and to change spark plugs. It didn’t have all the environmental stuff under the hood. When you looked under the hood all you saw was a straight six-cylinder engine and a battery. It was a smooth machine; that is, until it was about five-years old. My little black beauty began to sound its death knell in 1975. The body began to rust like crazy, the steering wheel fell off, and I couldn’t start the dang thing when it was below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit. When the steering wheel fell off, the ignition system of course died. The only way I could start it was with a screwdriver. I had to touch the positive side of the starter and the battery simultaneously, at the risk of electrocution in a rainstorm. The floorboards began to rot and I placed a broken seat off of a kitchen chair onto the floor to keep it from being a Fred Flintstone car. Needless-to-say, it passed away soon after that from a rare case of pistonitis. My second brand new car was a 1979 Subaru. It was one of the first front-wheel drives with an automatic transmission. It was haunted. Yes, you heard me right. The car had to have been made on a payday afternoon at the Subaru plant in Japan. You know, everyone was watching the clock for quitting time and not paying attention to the vehicle, they were making. I went through three camshafts, two windshields, and a partridge in a pear tree. My little white Subaru died in 1981, but not before, I attempted to drive it through the showroom window. What a piece of junk. No, I didn’t really drive it through the showroom window, but I made my feelings well known to the salesman that sold me that piece of junk. Of course, it wasn’t his fault, but I was young. I blame my actions on immaturity. What about my third brand new car? No way. You think I’m nuts? I don’t think I’ll ever buy a new car again. I’m jinxed. Remember Stephen King’s book “Christine?” My cars hate me.
I’m probably never going to be able to buy another new American car again. General Motors is losing money quicker than the government. Ford may only be a transmission away from going down. Chrysler? If they don’t figure out how to make an electrical system, which lasts for more than five weeks, they’re going to be on automobile death row as well. I guess I’ll keep buying used vehicles; my next one will probably be made in Iraq…with built-in insurgent bombs for road rage.
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