Signs Of The Times

Articles

Signs Of The Times

By Tom Adams
Mar 29, 2005

Do you like signs?

Have you ever thought how signs control our lives? “Enter”, “No Entry”, “Stop”, “Go”. Etc.

Now I am just a country boy and I must admit that I am easy to confuse. For instance, if we are half way across a pedestrian crossing and the sign flashes “Stop”, should we stop and wait for it to say “Walk” again?

The problem with signs as, as I see it, is that, writers do not write them. People who excel in other fields write them. There was a road sign near where I was living some years ago, if you approached it from the north it said, “Brisbane 79 km.” If you approached it from the south it said, “Brisbane 54 km.” There may be perfectly good reason for this but I fail to see it. But, as I said, I am just a country boy, easily confused.

I like signs that are straight forward so that confusion does not reign, like the one in the pub that says:

THIS WAY (Arrow) 4 U 2 P Now that is creative without being confusing.

Part of the problem is language, Americans, Australians and poms (Brits) all speak English but we have trouble at time communicating because, although we all speak English as our primary language (so far), we speak a different English. Even my Microsoft word asks me if I want to speak British, American or Australian English. This is not a bad thing, I am delighted to find “isms” e.g. Americanisms, but I sometimes find it hard to understand, not the actual words but the meaning if the sign. Allow me to give an example, (try and stop me).

A sign in an American department store read: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE LIFTS ARE LOCATED IN CHINA. To me this seems a bit extreme but I am given to understand that Americans do like to travel.

Not to appear to be having a go at the Americans here is one from Britain:

A museum, in London, has special facilities for disabled visitors. Many exhibits have small brass plates with Braille writing (you know, with raised dots so blind people can 'feel' the words). The translation underneath said,

"PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THIS EXHIBIT."

Am I the only one who finds this confusing?

If we can’t get it right, how can we expect countries that speak other languages to?

This from a Cocktail lounge in Norway:

"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

How inconsiderate can some ladies get?

But, no, actually it makes perfect sense to me and that frightens me somewhat. But this one doesn’t: From a Dry cleaner's in Bangkok:

"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."

What exactly is their business? Men are also catered for in some places:

One Hotel in Japan advises:

"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

Wonder how the chambermaid feels about that?

Are you starting to understand why I get confused easily? But, back to America where there is a sign that makes perfect sense:

In a small town in North Carolina there is a junkyard that has a huge sign on the front of the building that says,

"DRIVE RECKLESS! IT HELPS BUSINESS!"

There is a man after my own heart. His sign makes sense, not at all confusing.

Lets look at a few more:

A sign outside a furniture store in northern Virginia states

"ANTIQUE TABLES MADE HERE DAILY." Eh?

Sign outside a shop door in Lagos:

"DON'T GO INTO ANOTHER SHOP TO BE CHEATED -- COME IN HERE"

Honest in its own way.

Sign for another shop in Lagos:

"EARS PIERCED WHILE YOU WAIT. PAY FOR TWO AND GET ANOTHER ONE PIERCED FREE"

This has to be a bargain for any 3-eared ladies.

But I ramble I will finish with my favourite. Apparently, in South America they have a problem with water. If tourists drink in they experience what is known as, “Montezuma’s Revenge” and they spend their vacation in a small room and miss all the sights. To prevent this the water has to be treated with something or other This sign show a dedication, which is over and above the call of duty.

An Acapulco Hotel displays this sign:

"THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE."

Very busy man.

And now, just to add to the confusion, I will sign off. ‘Bye.

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About the author Tom Adams: I am 50+ Paraplegic living in Queensland Australia. I love writing and Live the Lord so I ove writing about the Lord. I have written some Christian nbooks, short stories, poetry (bush) and Puppet scripts. These can be viewed at http://www.lulu.com/T-C

Email: othunder@iprimus.com.au

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