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Mar. 5, 2005 We’ve all heard about ageism, mostly it is directed toward the old; however, the old tend to besmirch the young as well. Recently I was assigned a “group project” for college conducting Death & Dying. My partner was around his 60's, is a Vietnam veteran, and a former Marine, while I am in my 20's, a student, and an author. I thought we had mutual respect for each other, but apparently he didn’t. We were supposed to interview people on the subject of death and dying and their takes on it. My partner assured me that he would be “the leader” of the group and therefore conduct most of the work; I agreed to it, but I wanted to put in my share of the work. I didn’t think anything of it, in fact I was told by my partner that he would type the questions out and give me a copy of the questions so that I may do some of my interviews. I trusted him. I did get the questions; however, our “professor” wanted to revise the questions before we did the interviews, so I understood, but the “old marine” wanted to revise the questions and would give me the “new” questions later. A couple of weeks before our presentation and my partner did not give me the revised questions; therefore, I had to use the “rough draft” questions in order to conduct my interviews. My partner and I didn’t sit down with each other and discuss anything regarding this project, it was more of a “split”; in other words, he did his interviews, I did mine and we never talked about it, not even in class, which was a critical error on both of our parts. I did four interviews, 3 female, and 1 male. I informed my partner that I did four interviews and gave him a copy of the interviews. My partner, however, didn’t show me his interviews, and failed to inform me about how many interviews he was conducting, not to mention that I had not received the revised questions that he “was going to give me”. Once again, I trusted him. I emailed him saying “if there is anymore interviews you want me to do, let me know.” My partner didn’t email me back, which therefore, gave me the impression that my interviews were plenty. Little did I realize that my partner, who failed to tell me how many interviews he was doing, would be doing 9 interviews on top of my 4. Here is the problem I have with my partner, while I was doing my interviews, he elected to go behind my back and besmirch my name by claiming that I was “lazy” “inconsiderate” “loafing” and “a lousy partner.” I’m assuming that my partner “informed” or as some children would call it, “tattletale” on me about this matter to our professor. Did my partner confront me? Did a former Marine, who is supposed to be “big and bad” and doesn’t take crap from anyone because he fought in the Vietnam war, confront me about whether or not I was doing my part of the project? Nope. Instead, he would smile at me, say hello as if he wasn’t angry at all. How do I know he said these things? Ironically, my professor and a couple of my peers informed me that my partner was upset that “he was doing all the work” despite me giving him copies of my interviews that I conducted. I’m sure he informed everyone that I was “just another punk kid that has a rich mommy and daddy and that is how I’m going to college, and that I have a lot of maturing to do.” Ageism at it’s best. To make matters worse, my partner and I was supposed to have a handout ready for our class, once again my partner informed me that he would “take care of it.” Once again, I trusted him, and I knew I shouldn’t have. I’m not calling my partner an idiot, but I found it odd that since this was a group project, that there would be two people that is a part of the project. The class read the handout that my partner typed up and instead of including the word “we” they read “I” as if he did ALL the work. What’s worse? My professor believed him. Here is where hypocrisy kicks in. My professor is a “doctor”, and I use that term loosely, of psychology. Psychology is the education of the mind, how the mind works, and how behavior works. One of the key elements in psychology is not to take everything a person says so serious. If a client informed you that she saw George Washington outside her window every night and they would discuss about how Jesus is really a woman, would you believe her? No, you wouldn’t. My professor decided to “jump to conclusions” and automatically “believe” my partner’s story without even asking me what was going on. How do I know? Because when I asked for the results of our panel discussions, she decided to praise my partner and pretty much besmirch me about my so-called “loafing.” What really “urinated me off” was the fact that my professor thought it would be a good idea to apologize and possibly take him out to a “steak dinner.” For what? Why would it be a good idea to apologize to him, when I did the same exact thing he did? Hypocrisy at it’s finest. I kept pondering, more like pacing, back and forth about why would my young female professor advise me to apologize. One thought kept thinking, “well, she’s a woman, he’s a man, hmmm.” Then after throwing up, because of my thought, I pondered again. “Maybe she is just assuming that you didn’t do any work?” What? Four interviews isn’t enough? Of course I could have let my partner do ALL the work and I can just sit back and take all the credit, but I didn’t. The one thing I was NOT going to do was apologize, because I felt that I didn’t have to, I know what I did, I knew that our group was not really a group, but if anything I felt like I was stabbed in the back. Funny, that he is supposed to be “an American Hero,” yet, he would stab his own partner in the back by talking behind his back and trying to take all the credit for the panel discussion. Irony at it’s best. I was more disappointed with my professor than anything, I couldn’t believe that she would buy in to this without seeing the big picture first. Of course this does prove that just because you have a Ph.D at the end of your name, doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be a I.D.I.O.T. at the end of it either. Once again, irony at it’s best. The lesson I learned with this panel discussion, since I didn’t get a chance to express it in class, is I learned that hypocrisy and irony are two beautiful things, because they make jackass’ out of everyone. To my partner and my professor, in case they do read this, you won’t get an apology from me nor a steak dinner, but I will give you both a piece of advice: When you point the finger at someone, you’ll have two point back at you. I know this is not the normal saying, usually it is three, but why two? Well, I only have two hands, and two middle fingers. ------------ About the author Eric Schomburg: Useless-Knowledge Columnist of the year 2004. An Apocalyptic Dream is now out for purchase. Check out both books at http://www.geocities.com/schomburg2002. Email: schomburg2002@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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