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Mar. 3, 2005 December 29, 2004... my ex-fiance decides that he would like to take our daughter, Alexandra, for a little while to bond with her. He promises he will bring her back in about a month or so, as soon as I get back on my feet. I say absolutely not, his mother tells me if I don't hand the baby over voluntarily for the short amount of time, they will fight for custody. I say okay, and pack her things. December 30th, she is taken for the month. January 2, 2005, after taking my then boyfriend, Bryan, home, I come back to my house and my mom hands me papers that the Sherriff gave her, the papers are a temporary order of custody from the court. It seems my ex-fiance is fighting for custody anyway, and he has himself a pretty lawyer too. I, however, can't afford a lawyer, yet I can't help but wonder what judge or court would give a small baby over to a violent felon and former crack addict. Now, I admit that at one point in my life I loved Josh to death. But when your fiance is arrested a mere ten days after your child is born, and you lie in bed for six months wondering if you really want a man who tried to kill someone for speaking Spanish to raise your children, you get a different perspective. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that perhaps, just perhaps, Josh was not the right guy for me and my kids. I will say he is a good father, but as a human being, he is just not for me. So, I left him, and when he was released from jail, he moved in with his parents, not me. During the time that Josh was out, until he took Alexandra, I never prevented him from seeing his daughther. In fact, there were quite a few occasions that I would drive the baby to his house and drop her off. I knew that just because our relationship ended, didn't mean he shouldn't see his daughter. However, since he has gotten custody of her, I have seen her twice. I haven't held her in a month. I know that she is crawling and that her teeth are coming in quite nicely, but I haven't seen it. I don't like court. I don't like going up in front of a judge when the playing field is not level. He has a lawyer, I don't. They're turning this custody battle into some sort of mud slinging campaign. I try not to say anything bad about him, but when I am being made out to be some sort of a drug addicted whore who gives her children to her pedophile father, I am going to have to speak up. They intimidated me so much in mediation, that I almost accepted just having visitiations. I kept quiet when they said I was a drug addict, because drug tests will show the truth on that. I kept quiet when they said I was neglectful, because D.S.S. will show otherwise. I even kept quiet when they said that having bipolar disorder made me a bad and dangerous mother, because I am in the middle of a rediagnosis anyway. However, when they brought up the fact that my father was a pedophile, I spoke up, or rather yelled, in the mediation office. "Who was it that protected you while you were in jail, Josh? And what does my father have to do with this when he doesn't even live in the state and he's not allowed around my kids?" Luckily for me, the judge was a kind and fair woman who knew that I was being intimidated and held the trial until I could get up money for a lawyer. She also ordered that we go to the court clinic for a mental health evaluation. That means the court will know I'm not some dilusional crazy woman. And I like that. That also means that he has to be evaluated too, and boy, is he mad. So, the wheels of life keep turning, and Josh retains custody of Alexandra. By the time I see her again, it will be six weeks since my last visit with her. In the mean time, I will try to figure out how to get one of those fancy Boston lawyers, who will fling the mud for me. I will get her back, if only based on the fact that I'm not a violent person and I'm not a racist, nor do I sit in a open court room constantly rubbing my nose as if I started doing cocaine again. That, my friends, is fear. Wondering if your ten month old daughter is in the custody of a cocaine addict. I hope to hell not. He's a good father, and I don't want him to start up his habit again. I don't want to see him lose everything. I do, however, want my daughter back. And I will do whatever I need to, legally, to get her back. And by the by, if I was a neglectful, evil, drug addicted mother, why do I still have custody of my two year old son? If I am a bad parent, isn't he in danger too? I just wanted to propose that question outloud, because it's been in my head for weeks. ------------ About the author L.J. Chapman: I am a mother of two kids. I run a freelance business online, called LJC Freelance Inc. I'm trying to get a novel written, but I am a mother of two. Email: sublime_girl441980@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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