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Mar. 3, 2005 Martha Stewart is a dangerous criminal. Why she is getting out Sunday is anybodies guess. Personally I don't think she's even shown remorse for anything. I might be wrong, I mean I have a little personal bias against any FOBs (Friends of Bill). They are all a little whacked if you ask me. Martha, however, is more then your average nut job DNC supporter. Martha is dangerous in the most heinous way. She does things which make everyone else feel inept. At least most people. I, who know my way around a kitchen, am not fooled. Look, my house might be a mess, I may not have a line of clothes, or anything else at K-mart(much less Big Lots)and I haven't got the style system for home decoration, but I do know how to do crafts(years of training in art and as a scout leader for that)and I can make a bunny out of an old can and some string anyday as good, if not better than Martha any time. I bet I would also beat Martha senseless in the kitchen anytime. My daughter certainly has great faith in my gravy. So there, Ms. Stewart! Neeeeyyagh!(okay, you can't see it but my tongue is out). I know the difference between rosemary and basil. I'm also the go to when there's a family dinner to be had. I dare Martha to match me marshmellow for marshmellow making candied yams. I may not have a magazine, but I don't deal with Demacrates either. I don't deal illegally in stocks. Besides, who doesn't dislike Martha just a little? She makes June Cleaver look inept.That ain't good. We all know June would clean Martha's clock and know just what to use to do it. She is messing with the Beav's mother. Not something I'd want to do. So, Martha gets out. She might be on probation and will likely be wearing an ankle bracelet for security reasons(bet it's accessorized), but be warned. Lock your kitchens. Guard your turkey basters, and don't let Martha anywhere near a spatula. The woman is a menace to domestic society. That woman really grates my nerves, as well as carrots, cheese, and nutmeg. I've doubled the locks on the cooking knives and I've got an egg beater with her name on it. ------------ About the author: Lee Zelhart is a proud graduate of McKendree College and the author of The Ghost of the Cavalier due out May 2nd. He is the father of two children, one of which tells him he will be a grandpa next September. Both first issues are greatly anticipated and more details to be released later. Email: graphicsdoctor1@sbcglobal.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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