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June 28, 2005 After my accident this past week, I've fallen into a deep dark depression. I can barely write my own columns and at the grocery store, behind me were a 12 - 13 year old girl and her mother. My bandage had slipped down my arm a little and the 3rd degree burns were visible. The girl said "Ewww!! Look Mom! I can't believe that they let people LIKE THAT into the store." And the mother replied, "That is the grossest thing I have ever seen in my life." I turned to the both of them and shot off my ever so smart mouth with one of my witty lines of "Instead of prayers to heal my arm quickly, I'm going to pray that the great spirit touches your heart with the ability to look past a handicap and look into the soul of a person before you look asinine in public again." And then I finished writing my check and I held my head up high as I walked out of the store pushing my cart. What was supposed to do? Put a gypsy curse on them? Hope that they develop boils on their female organs that never go away? No, by being the bigger person in the situation was showing the city of Chicago that even though I had a bad thing happen and my arm is suffering from it and I have to use other people to write for me, I am stronger because of what happened. Girlfriends of mine that live here in the city told me to go get false eyelashes because my real ones are now 1/8 of an inch on the top. I bought them, but I have no idea on how to use them. But I decided that fateful Sunday that if people cannot accept me for who I am and how I look now, than fork them! The back of my hand looks like someone has pealed layer upon layer of skin off. The blisters have popped, but when the gauze is changed, there is blood on the gauze that was covering my hand. This is the first article I have written by myself since the accident and I am in such excruciating pain, that I'd love to get a hacksaw and chop off my right hand at the wrist. But I go to see my doctor tomorrow, Hopefully he will give me something stronger than Tylenol 3 for the pain. I'm embarrassed beyond belief that I did this to myself. And out of stupidity too. Thanks to the writers of Useless Knowledge that have written me for support and thanks go out to the readers for their support as well. I don't think I could have gone on without that support. Sometimes I wonder what I could have done differently to avoid this accident. But it does give me sympathy at the food pantries and it does help me to get food on the table for my family that I could not have gotten until my disability kicks in. The real pain though that I feel from all this, is the pain I have on the inside, knowing that it will be months before I am back to speed and back to writing my own columns without having to take breaks every two or three minutes to rest my hand. I miss writing and my journal looks like my three-year-old has written in it. So until next time, I remain your ever faithful burned Kaycee! ------------ About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com. Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die." If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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