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June 22, 2005 Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway Bride, has signed a book and movie deal -- in a cynical move to cash in on her notoriety. And now the fleet-footed bride has signed a contract to fight Mike Tyson. The contract contains a clause penalizing Wilbanks if she runs away from her match with the troubled boxer. When asked why she would risk physical harm to fight Tyson, she replied: Even a wimpy interviewer like Katie Couric launches harder lobs than Tyson, I can take that chump. He can take turns with my fiance, carrying my jockstrap. When a reported asked the former champ, "This must be a surreal experience, even for you, how do you feel about this match?" Iron Mike replied, "Of course this experience is so real, stop being so ludicrous. Wilbanks has some fancy footwork and stop eye-popping moves, but I'm gonna kill that crazy white chick." Don King issued this press release explaining his reluctance to promote this boxing match: I'll promote a boxer who bites a man's ear and intentionally breaks a boxer's arm, but I have too much class to have anything to do with such an eye-popping lunatic. I will leave it to the mainstream media to make deals with this contemptible character. Las Vegas has installed Wilbanks as an overwhelming favorite to crush Tyson; the ex-champ's only hope is to deflate Jennifer's silicon boobs. That's the only thing that might take the wind out of her sails. ------------ About the author: Robert Paul Reyes is a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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