A Son That Constantly Whines

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A Son That Constantly Whines

By Brooke Hadley
July 27, 2005

Dear Brooke:
I am a single mom, and my son constantly whines. I have seen a improvement in the last two weeks, but it is still getting to the point where my one year relationship is going to end due to the whining all the time. My boyfriend can't handle it. I don't know what to do. I ask him to have patience and he tells me "I don't have anymore. I can't deal with it. I don't know why it annoys so much, but I just can't deal with it anymore." So what is your advice?
Christina

As a single mom, you and your son are a package deal. I think it's really important to find a mate who loves your child just as much as you. I don’t think the question should be, ‘how do I reform my child’s behavior real fast so my beau won’t leave.’ You should be asking if this guy’s really ready to have a child.

Parenting is a never ending battle. Once you conquer one problem with a child, you’re onto the next one. There will always be something you can do to help your child grow and learn, and with each stage of life comes new excitement and new issues.

If he’s ready to walk, even after seeing improvement, maybe you should be asking how you can get your boyfriend to resolve his patience issues. If he’s not willing to live with all of the joys and headaches children can bring, it might be time to go your separate ways. When adults get annoyed with children, they often take it out on the child. And even if he’s not being aggressive, I’m sure he’s shooting dirty looks and sending off bad vibes to your son.

Your child needs to know that he has the freedom to learn and develop in a secure home environment. If he feels that he’s being rushed into changing, he’ll likely rebel against it, making your job twice as difficult.

Is there any way you could keep your relationship with your boyfriend separate from your relationship with your son? While you’re working on helping your child get better about not whining, you could hire a sitter to go out and relax with your man. Then once the problem has been resolved, give your threesome another go.

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About the author: Brooke Hadley lives in Austin with her two sons, Skylar Austin and Andrew Ashton. She owns a freelance writing, editing, research and photography business, and her clients include Glamour Magazine, Austin Monthly Magazine and LifeTouch Photography.

http://www.ComposingMoments.com

Email: PersistentGerl@hotmail.com

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