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July 17, 2005 The NFL season is just around the corner and my adrenaline is rising daily. I'm not a compulsive person by nature; however, when the season begins everyone knows exactly where I'll be on Sunday's from 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m…plopped in my chair, Direct TV remote in hand, switching from game to game looking for a "happy place." My "happy place" is a game where the team I wagered on is winning. By days end the guilt feelings seep into my psyche, much like the sensation I get after eating a super sized, junk food meal at McDonalds. I intellectually realize I should not have done it, but man, did it feel good while it lasted! If that makes me a "sicko" then so be it. If fact, a few years ago I began giving the same response to anyone who would ask how I could sit in front of the TV all day, watching football. "I'm sick!" I reply, rotating my finger around my skull. I've discovered with that remark, I am never asked football questions by the person again. Also, it's much easier than trying to explain the actual motivation behind my madness. Of course, as is the case with any personal problem, it is important to rationalize the situation. Men, feel free to borrow my rationalizations if an emergency arises; like, if your wife calls you a lazy-ass, no good, dead beat, shiftless, good-for-nothing bum! Here is a list of some I've found helpful over the years. "It's better then doing drugs!" (I can't add "and drinking" since I drink Corona all day long.) "I'm not out spending money like you." (again, not entirely true if I go 3-15 on my bets and drop a couple hundred.) "It's what I like to do. You have your charity work!" "We'll go out to dinner on Tuesday." (don't make the fatal mistake of saying "Monday"…remember, Monday Night Football. "I work hard all week and I want to relax on Sunday." (that was a great one, however, since I retired, it doesn't fly anymore.) "I'm the man of the house and this is my castle. I'll do what I want, when I want!" (just kidding, that hasn't worked since 1963.) And finally, my personal favorite: "Why don't you watch the game with me?" (I have no clue what I would do if she said, "Okay.") I feel much better now, getting that off my chest. Gotta run, there's an NFL special coming on soon. ------------ About the author: Pete Whalon recently published his first book— “The Saigon Zoo: Vietnam’s Other War; Sex, Drugs, Rock ‘n Roll.” It’s a humorous memoir of his 22 months as an Army Private in Vietnam, 1969-71. Check out his web site: www.SaigonZoo.com The 1st chapter is on the site for your reading pleasure! Email: kinoman7@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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